


My Light, My Life

by CarolinaCullen2012



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-10 10:14:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarolinaCullen2012/pseuds/CarolinaCullen2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward finds what he needs most in an unexpected place. After finding her ... he needs her, craves her ... because she is the light of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> I would love to thank the wonderful women who help me. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But, remember we are not perfect and even though six eyes are better than two, we are human and make mistakes. So, thanks to my beta(s) on this chapter: dannibags, piesmom
> 
> The banner was done by Mkystich, I knew when I saw it that I had to bring Domella to life.
> 
> I plan to update this story once a month at the moment. I can't give you a specific day yet, but I will be sure to include that in the notes if that changes. I'm working on three stories at once and I think a schedule would be the best idea. So, please bare with me here.
> 
> Welcome to my dominant Bella story. I have been planning this one for a while now, ever since I wrote The Perfect Submissive. This chapter we will learn how old Bella is. How she found herself living in the BDSM community, and what she does for a living.

My Light, My Life

Chapter 1

The Light

BPOV

I was twenty-six years old, owned, and operated my own portrait studio. I had gradually built a name for myself in this community and had loyal customers. Some might often wander how I found myself with my own studio at such a young age, but it was all because of my parents.

As long as I could remember, I had always had a camera with me. When I finished high school and headed to college that is what I wanted to do with my life. So, I attended the University of Washington, where I earned a bachelor's degree in Fine Arts with a concentration in photography.

When I graduated, I took the first job that came to me. I worked at a photo studio in Wal-Mart making eight dollars an hour. It wasn't the job I truly wanted. I wanted my own studio where I could do what I wanted, but the professional camera that would be needed cost more than I had at the moment. I figured that I could work and get things moving forward in my life. When I had saved up enough money to purchase the camera, then I would look into opening up my own studio.

I was at work when I got the call about my parent's car accident. I rushed to the hospital to be by Dad's side. Mom had died instantly and Dad was in critical condition. I stood by his bedside with tears streaming down my face. He only woke up for a few minutes, and within that few minutes, he gave me his parting advice.

"Follow your dreams, Isabella," he whispered before closing his eyes and leaving me forever too.

My whole world shattered that day. I don't remember getting from the hospital to Carlisle and Esme's house, but that was where I woke up. The month's following their death were extremely hard, and I got through it the best I could. After everything settled down again, I headed back to work and drowned in my sorrows.

Carlisle and Esme were a huge blessing during this time. They were my parent's best friends and came to my rescue many times during that year. Esme pushed me to use both the insurance money and the inheritance to open my own studio. They believed in me, and somewhere along the way, they became more than my parent's friends. They also became my own friends.

I never looked at either one of them as my parents because they never treated me like a child. To them I was an equal, and I respected them more for that. It wasn't like I had any friends anyway. I had always been a loner with a camera around my neck; so I would always be content in doing things by myself.

Esme helped me find the perfect location, and she even helped me decorate the studio. Carlisle and she helped every way they could to get the studio off the ground. I did many weddings at first trying to drum up business, and I thought that if their wedding pictures were good enough then they would come back for the family portraits and pass the word around.

When things started getting busier at my studio, I no longer did weddings. But, if I wanted extra money I would, but weddings were not my cup of tea. They always reminded me that I was alone and the promise of eventually getting married was so far out of reach, it wasn't funny.

I didn't date much during that time and what little bit I did date, I was always left unsatisfied. I dated Paul for a while, but he had such a short fuse that I knew it wouldn't last too long, and sometimes he scared the shit out of me. Sam was another guy I dated and things were great until I caught him cheating with his ex-girlfriend. Then, there was Jake. Jake was okay and I was comfortable with him, but many things were missing. For one, we never connected on a level where I felt like I wanted or needed him. He was always paranoid that I would find someone else, which became extremely aggravating. It was as if I had no control in my life with him in the picture. Then there was the sex. I had to give it up to him and he tried, but it was never good enough. He always wanted to control every aspect of who I was and I couldn't take it anymore. I had no control in life and in the bedroom.

I had a hell of a time getting rid of him too, but eventually I set him up with a girl I had worked with at Wal-Mart. Vanessa seemed to really care about him, and he was out of my hair for good.

After Jake, I had casual dates, but none of the people I went out with appealed to me. The majority wanted the same control that Jake did, and I wasn't even going back to that situation; them needing to know where I am every second of the day. I would rather die alone than to let a man tell me what to do.

I wanted a man who could stand up to me, but allowed me freedom to be myself in the process. I wanted a man who listened in the bedroom, and when I wanted to tie him to the bed and screw him senseless, he would comply without complaints. I wanted to dominate that area of my life, and control the decisions I made. I didn't want someone dominating me all the time and telling me what to do and when to do it. Those where the types I always found when I dated causally. Somewhere during the date, they would assume they knew what I wanted and then force it upon me. That was when I would call for the check, pay my half of dinner, and left.

Things changed when I turned twenty-four and all it took was a couple of portraits to spin me in a new direction. I had always done Carlisle and Esme's portraits. When he called to have them done again so soon, I wondered if he was unhappy about the last photos, and tried to remember to ask when I went to their house.

I arrived at the house earlier than expected. I always brought the things I needed to do the photos at their house. That was something I did for regular clients, and Carlisle and Esme were my regulars. I hauled everything I needed from the back of my SUV. I was about to start setting everything up in the living room when Carlisle walked in.

"I need to talk to you before this shoot happens," Carlisle said looking down at his hands as he entered the room.

"Sure, was there something wrong with the last portraits you had done?" I asked.

I had to know if they were unhappy with my services.

"No, God no Bella. You do such a wonderful job. It's … well … I'm just going to say it," he paused and then looked straight at me.

"We need other types of pictures taken, and you are the only one I trust with this. However, if this makes you uncomfortable please let me know. I will try to find someone else who will do this for us."

"You don't have to find some else, I'm sure I can handle whatever you need done," I said trying to exude confidence.

I didn't know what he wanted and a little part of me was scared. I mean, what kind of pictures did they want?

"Have you ever done nudes?" he asked.

I hesitantly replied, "Yes."

"Good, good, uhm … look I was wondering if you could do some tasteful, but interesting shots. If you think there will be any weirdness, please tell me and I will try to find someone else."

"Can I have moment to myself to think?" I asked.

"Sure, sure. Just come and find me when you have your decision," he said leaving the living room.

I quickly picked up the pack of Marlboro's I had laid on the table and headed outside to clear my mind.

What is the worst that could happen? It wasn't like I was ashamed or embarrassed of nudity. Hell, I had to do a spread for my final and I had managed to be respectful and calm during the whole shoot. I didn't get excited at the sight of naked bodies placed in front of me.

I didn't look at Carlisle and Esme like they were my parents, which would have made the answer an automatic no, if I had. I had seen Esme in various stages of undress during our shopping adventure. So seeing her naked wouldn't bother me, but I worried about Carlisle. I knew that I could handle it and with all these aspects taken into consideration, my decision was made. I stubbed out my cigarette and headed back into the house. Carlisle was patiently waiting in the living room for me.

"I will do the shots," I said.

"Thank God, thank you so much Bella."

"Where's my equipment?" I asked looking around wondering where he put my stuff.

"It's in the room I would like to use for the shoot," he said reaching down to grab my hand. He led me up the stairs and allowed me to enter into a dark room that was dimly lit. I could barely make out the bed and different items hanging on the wall.

"Have you ever heard of BDSM?" he asked hesitantly.

"Vaguely," I replied stunned by the sight in front of me.

"The shoot today will have a BDSM theme about them. The shoot won't be of Esme and me," he said motioning at the door.

I was both shocked and somewhat relieved that it wasn't them. I could be more professional if it was someone else.

"Bella, I would like for you to meet Kate and Garrett. They will be your subjects for the day," he said motioning to the couple who walked up.

I was completely shocked at the sight before me. Kate was dressed in a tight black leather suit; it made me think of the cat woman outfit. Her face was covered with a mask, and I could just barely make out her features here in the light. I looked at everything about her and noticed she held a leash and a riding crop in one hand. I followed the line of the leash and saw a man crawling behind her. He was completely nude and I couldn't make out anything out about his face because his head was down. The leash was connected to a collar around his neck. He appeared to have a mask on as well.

"Kate is a dominatrix and Garrett here is her pet. The pictures you are going to take today are for the BDSM community. If you play your cards right and do a good job, like I know you will, you stand to have several more clients that will want shots like this," Carlisle replied watching the couple walk to the middle of the room.

My mind wondered at what kind of things the couple would want out of their shots. My mind started reeling with possibilities of what to do with them.

"There won't be any sex in these shots, but I want to make you aware that some will want that aspect too, if everything goes according to plan," Carlisle said watching me get everything together for the shoot.

"You will speak directly to Kate; she will give Garrett the orders to move. Always respect her dominant position over Garrett. You will be offending Kate if you don't ask her first. You also have to tell her if you need Garrett to move into a different position. Don't touch her or him unless you ask permission first either. You won't have to say Mistress or anything, but just show respect."

I squatted down pulling my camera out of the bags in front of me listening to Carlisle instructions.

"You will do fine. I will be here watching over this shoot because this is my playroom," Carlisle said timidly.

My neck about broke turning around to look at him. I stared at him for a couple of minutes. I couldn't believe that Esme and he were into these types of things. I had heard about this kind of lifestyle before; a lot of people looked down on people who enjoyed BDSM. I briefly wondered how long Carlisle and Esme had belonged to the community. I mean, why else would you have a playroom if you weren't using it? I had always had an open mind to how people choose to live their lives. I never knew exactly what BDSM was anyhow. I knew one thing about myself though, and that was I often wanted to tie Jake up. Hell, sometimes I would have given anything to duck taped his mouth shut.

"If you have questions after the shoot is over, I would be happy to answer them," Carlisle said patting my shoulder and heading into the darkness to stand. I could vaguely make his silhouette out by the wall.

I didn't take long to get the couple into positions. When she would demand Garrett into the positions I wanted, I could feel the temperature raising. I would be willing to bet my cheeks were probably red. My hands were shaking at one point when she scolded him for not moving quickly enough for me. Her words and the tone of her voice were like a siren's call. When the riding crop swished through the air and landed on his ass, I about crumpled to my knees. When he moaned in response to the lick she had given him, I about came in my panties.

By the end of the shoot, I was breathing hard. Everything they had displayed in front of me, I had envisioned doing those things to several of the men I was involved with; she had him every way I wanted. He listened to every command she gave without reservation and complaint.

I was completely blown away by the emotions I had during the shoot. I had never been affected by any of the nudes I had ever done in my life, and it wasn't like Kate was completely naked. In fact, she was completely clothed, but it was the atmosphere in the room that spiked my emotions.

I struggled to make it down the stairs. When Carlisle noticed, he came to my aide. He sat my bags down in the living room and ushered Kate and Garrett out of the house.

I sat down on the couch. Esme walked in and handed me a glass of liquor, I assumed. When I tipped the drink back, it was in fact whiskey. Marker's Mark to be exact. I needed that shot in order to calm my nerves.

"You're into that stuff?" I asked Esme after I emptied the reminder of the glass.

She walked over, bringing the rest of the bottle with her. She refilled my glass and handed it back to me.

"Yes," she replied calmly.

"How long?" I asked.

"Twenty years," Carlisle stated from the doorway of the living room.

"We're my parents involved?" I asked. I knew they were best friends and a part of me wanted to know, but another part of me didn't want to know.

"They knew about us, but they were never a part of it," Carlisle said coming over and sitting in front of me. Esme quickly poured him a glass of Marker's Mark and handed it to him. For the first time in years, I noticed her demeanor change when he walked into the room.

We talked for hours that night. Carlisle asked me if I was affected during the shoot. When he asked he raised his eyebrow at me, I swallowed hard, but admitted to the thoughts that were running around in my mind during the shoot. I also told him about wanting to tie Jake up, but he wouldn't allow it. Carlisle invited me to a local munch that was coming up soon. He said that if I was truly interested in the lifestyle that he would take me under his wing and show me everything I needed to know. I blanched at the idea at first. I didn't want to see them have sex, but Carlisle told me that the lifestyle wasn't always about sex. He could teach me everything I needed to know without us even having to be naked, or having sex at all.

That night I lay in bed dreaming of a green-eyed man with a leash wrapped around his neck. He would bend to all my rules and listen to my every demand without a complaint. When I awoke the next morning, I was breathing hard, sweating, and horny as hell.

The pictures from that shoot turned out beautiful, and I was invited to several different play parties because of my work. Others wanted the same things with their relationships. So, it wasn't long before I started catering to the community with photos. And, some of the clubs wanted me as their official photographer for several different scenes or advertisements.

Several months passed and I went to every munch, play party, and club that specialized in the lifestyle. Carlisle and Esme accompanied me to every meeting, and even introduced me to others in the community. I was astonished to see so many people with like minds, and demonstrations on how to use different items for play. God, the things I saw left me hot and bothered and wanting for more. But, Carlisle refused to let me participate in any play until I fully understood the actions taking place. When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I started my training.

Carlisle was true to his word; every Wednesday night I would go to their house and learn about different things. I learned how to tie intricate knots and make beautiful designs on one's body. I learned how it felt to be struck with different implements like floggers, riding crops, whips, and canes. He also taught me how to wield those implements for pleasure.

Esme would participate in the training sometimes when Carlisle wanted me to see what her reactions were to different things. It felt so wrong when I would strike her with something, but I followed his directions. The only time I struggled in my training was when he had to punish Esme. I understood the need for chastisement, but I didn't like watching it. It would hurt me when he struck her like that and it wasn't ever hard or even left a mark beyond the pinks or reds. I only had to watch once thank God, and it was to get an idea of what punishment would be like with my pet one day. I never knew if I would be able to punish my pet, but I guess I would have to cross that bridge when I got there.

There was only one time during the whole training phase that I saw Esme completely nude, and that was the day that Carlisle taught me about different clamps. He wanted me to get an idea of what to look for in aftercare, and how to properly attach them. He encouraged me to practice on my own when I refused to get naked in front of him. He didn't ask, but I bluntly told him I wouldn't. He handed me a new set of clamps, told me they were mine, and sent me home to try them out. Later, that night I had the best orgasm of my life, and I even entertained some thoughts about getting my nipples pierced.

Toward the end of my time training with Carlisle, he asked Kate and Garrett to help better assist me with things that would be used on a male submissive. She was more than willing to help. She even allowed me to do things with her submissive I would never allow mine to do. Every Wednesday I went to her house; and played with her and her submissive in her playroom, but there was still something missing.

Carlisle suggested that maybe it was time for me to have my own submissive or pet, but I still didn't think that was what I needed. The green-eyed male from my dreams still haunted my subconscious. I couldn't understand why I had those dreams, but if I ever came across those green eyes, I knew I would never be able to go back.

After deciding that I didn't want a permanent submissive, I placed an ad at 'Eclipse' and in a couple of community magazines that I would offer my services to submissives or people interested in learning more about the lifestyle. I planned to cater to a list of fetishes, but never once was sex an option.

Once the decision was made, I had one other problem to solve and that was the issue of my house. The house I currently lived in was my parent's home that I could never part with. It was two bedrooms and one bathroom. There was no way I would be able to be who I was now in the small house, and not to mention that just the thoughts of tying someone up in my parent's bedroom gave me the heebie jeebies.

So, I borrowed Esme one day and we both went hunting for a new house in the area. It wasn't long before I found the one I was looking for, and with Esme's help, we decorated it just the way I wanted. I refused to take the master bedroom, but opted to turn it into my playroom.

We pulled the carpet up and added dark hardwood floors. We painted the walls black. A king size bed was placed up against the wall, and we decorated it with white satin sheets, and black and red pillows. It was a four-poster bed that allowed the installation of a swing. Or, I could tie someone to the posts. The possibilities were endless.

Carlisle assisted me in getting the things I would need, and mounted them on the wall. When the room was almost done, we added a cross on the opposite wall. A couple of cabinets on another wall; those would house the essentials of different items to use for play. I even purchased a chair that could be used for sex, if so desired.

Once everything was in its place, I was satisfied with the look. It was finally complete. I was happy to have the master bedroom as my playroom, and more than happy to have my bedroom down the hall. I was accustom to sleeping in a smaller room, and didn't need for my bathroom to be in the same room. So, with the ensuite bathroom in the playroom, it worked for me. It seemed better that way.

It didn't take long for me to build up a list of clients. Between the studio during the day, the side projects for the community, and my nightly activities as a dominatrix, my life was completely satisfying or so I thought.


	2. The Client List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would love to thank the wonderful women who help me. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But, remember we are not perfect and even though six eyes are better than two, we are human and make mistakes. So, thanks to my beta(s) on this chapter: dannibags, piesmom
> 
> I plan to update this story once a month at the moment. I can't give you a specific day yet, but I will be sure to include that in the notes if that changes. I'm working on three stories at once and I think a schedule would be the best idea. So, please bear with me here.
> 
> Warning: If you are interested in getting involved in the lifestyle, please take care and do research. Don't jump in the middle of the lifestyle after reading stories. Find a mentor in your area, find out about munches in your area, get out and get involved before you begin to play. Always be safe, sane, and consensual.
> 
> The Client List will talk about Bella's clients; let's see who is here and what she does with each one of them. Esme asks Bella for a favor what do you think it could be?

Chapter 2

The Client List

Every night of the week, I had a client for domination, and I could never wait to get home. I was looking forward to donning my tight leather outfit, and letting loose the aggravation I sometimes carried while working in the studio.

My week was full of different clients and each had their own taste for things they wanted to experience. I never had sex with any of my clients, and I planned to keep it that way for a good long while.

My first client was Rosalie Hale-McCarty; she was the opposite of what I truly thought she would be. Rosalie was strong-minded, very opinionated, and a downright bitch, if you crossed her path. However, I guess you had to be working in the industry she does. She works for one of the biggest automobile companies in the country, and she does all of her work from home. She designs engines, tests them, and is envied by men all around. Her husband, Emmett, was a linebacker for the Seattle Seahawks and the envy of all men too. Not only did he have the lustrous position on an NFL team, he also had a wife that looked like a supermodel. Rosalie was not only extremely smart, she was absolutely gorgeous.

Their looks or careers weren't what concerned me or made me take pause when she came to me. It was the fact that miss confident, grab a man by the balls, and never take anyone's shit had a secret. She loved to be told what to do, but she didn't want any of the men at work to know this little secret and for good reason. Hell, I wouldn't have let them know either.

Apparently, Rose and Emmett had been dabbling in the lifestyle, but Emmett couldn't seem to control how he welded a whip or a riding crop. He would sometimes injury Rose. It wasn't intently per se, but because of his inexperience in reading her body, and the fact they went into this blindly, he made huge mistakes. She told me about times the handcuffs where left on for too long, and the marks she had to cover to go to work. He used the wrong candles during wax play and burnt her in several spots. He had even struck her so hard at one point, he opened a wound on her back, which was very unacceptable. I knew I had to help them before something terrible happened. I couldn't imagine if she had been into choking or cutting; hell, he would've killed her.

I took Emmett under my wing and made him my submissive at first, with Rose attending every meeting. I didn't want photos of him coming out of my house and for someone to exposé him for cheating on his wife. Those types of highlights would grace the covers of magazines. I didn't want to be photographed in that kind of light, and I'm sure he didn't want the rumors to spread either. It didn't stop the paparazzi from taking pictures, but at least she was with us in everyone of the photos that graced the covers of magazines.

The main concept I went over with the pair was impact play and wax play; I needed to cover those before something happened. I sat them both down at first and went over lists and things each wanted to learn how to do, and how to make their D/s relationship better.

I never allowed Emmett to weld any kind of tool against me, as Carlisle had trained me at first. I used all my tools on him, and showed him the wrong way to hit. I never struck him as hard as he had Rose, but I came close, just to prove my point. It didn't take long for him to learn that he had to tone down his strength in order to keep her safe. I preached to them safe, sane, and consensual,over and over.

"Tone it down," I scolded Emmett as he whipped the riding crop through the air.

"Yes, Mistress," he replied lowering his eyes to the floor.

"Look, you have to learn that we are not on a football field, a weight room, or some other place where you exert your strength. I need you to be that person that walks through my door every night before we get here. The gentle bear," I said trying to get it through his thick skull that it wasn't a competition of whose dick was bigger than whose in here.

Emmett constantly struggled to get into the mindset that was needed to be a dominant to his wife, who desperately yearned for someone to take control every once in a while.

"Watch me Emmett," I said walking over to Rose who was kneeling on the ground.

"Stand," I demanded.

"Hold your arm out, Rose," I ordered. I didn't call Emmett and Rose names because I wanted them to understand this was a learning process at first.

I lightly stroked her arm with the tip of my riding crop and when she least expected it, I gently landed a blow on her arm.

"Tell me how that feels," I demanded.

"You surprised me. I wasn't expecting you to smack me with it yet. However, it wasn't bad," she said looking over at her arm.

"Good," I said.

I used the tip to gently glide over her exposed body. I had instructed Rose to wear a tank top and jeans at first. I wanted the blows landed on her bottom to have a little less bite to them.

"How about now, Rose? What does it feel like with me dragging my crop all over your exposed body?"

"Feels good actually. I can feel every nerve standing at attention."

"You use the riding crop to stimulate her, not beat the shit out of her," I said in a condescending tone to Emmett.

After that first lecture, both had been doing well. It wouldn't be much longer before I allowed them to be on their own together, but as of right now, they were still learning. The training I did with them was every Monday in my playroom, and I found certain aspects of it fulfilling. However, there was still something missing from the mix, not to mention that Emmett had blue eyes, and was a crappy submissive.

On Tuesday, I provided services for the Whitlock's; yes, another married couple. But, this one was a little different than Rose and Emmett's situation; Rose and Emmett were both newbie's, but Alice and Jasper were a different story. Alice had been a dominant in another relationship, and Jasper had been a submissive in another relationship. There were moments when they wanted to reverse the roles. Alice wanted Jasper to take the reins sometimes and lead her through things, but Jasper was struggling to take the control needed. They wanted to find a happy medium in their switch relationship.

Even though Jasper knew what it felt like to be struck with a whip or riding crop and knew which areas to avoid, he still wasn't confident in his domination. Alice would grow tired of trying to build up Jasper's confidence and offered to bring a submissive friend into their playroom at home. However, Jasper was pissed when the playmate was a male. It wasn't that Jasper hadn't experienced those things before, but he wasn't about to share his time with Alice like that. He didn't want to share her with anyone.

They had both given up the lifestyle, when they thought the other wasn't into those kind of things, and tried desperately to forage a vanilla sex life. However, the lifestyle was never far from their minds. In an attempt to come to terms and become switches, they had to learn the others roles, and this is where I stepped in. Alice had seen my card at the club. She told Jasper about me, and we all had dinner one night to discuss the situation. I think they were pleased with the aspect that I didn't have sexual relations with my clients. To me, it was all about the craft or the art of domination. Jasper's tension of sharing Alice was alleviated, and they could now learn the pleasure of both roles.

"Harder," I demanded.

"Yes, Mistress," Jasper responded.

"Don't call me Mistress, hit her harder," I said trying to make him come out of his shell. When he called me Mistress, it made his mind revert to him being a submissive, and a very good one he was too. He would listen to every demand and immediately react. If it wasn't for the fact he was married and was sporting blue eyes, he would have been perfect for me. But, that was the point I was trying to make. He didn't have to listen to me; I needed him to push himself. He knows she can't handle hard yet;he is willing to do it because I said.

"Red," Alice yelled after Jasper landed the first blow from the cane.

"Why did you red Alice?" I asked.

"Look at your Master," I instructed.

"You were hurting me, and I couldn't take it anymore," she almost cried, but she didn't allow the tears to spill over.

"I'm so sorry Alice.I don't want to hurt you," Jasper cooed to her. This session was over, but I had to talk to them. I needed to have a less 'hands on' approach to things because when I stepped in, he didn't buck me. Hell, I think I could have called him every name in the book, and he still would have done what was asked of him.

I needed something to trigger his temper and make him respond to me. I needed to piss him off. I needed to talk to Alice to see if there was something that rubbed Jasper the wrong way and use it to my advantage.

Wednesday night, I had lost my recently new client due to differences of opinions. Jane wanted more than I was willing to give. Jane was a pain slut, and the more pain she was in, the better. Personally, it wasn't my favorite hour, but she did pay me well. However, when she wanted to introduce knife play into our little sessions, I quickly declined and gave her the boot out the door.

Now, sex to me meant the physical act of penetrating ones mouth, anus, or pussy with some form of penis. I even considered the use of a dildo a form of sex. Hell, even fingering would be along those same lines. As long as the clients were not penetrating my mouth, ass, or pussy … we weren't having sex. However, the only exception I had were two clients, and it wasn't sex in my personal opinion; it was a means to an end.

Thursday night was one of those exceptions and even it had rules. Jared was my Thursday client, and with him, it was all about humiliation. There was something else about Jared which intrigued me. He liked to watch porn in his free time; in fact, he had gotten fired from his job because he was using their server to access porn websites. But, that didn't stop his obsession with it.

When we had our client meeting in the dining room, like I did with all my clients, and he really opened up about his porn addiction.

"What type do you like to watch the most?" I asked because I was curious. What if he liked something I wanted to watch?

"My favorite," he paused and blushed.

"Yes, your favorite. Tell me about it," I said trying to pull him out of his shell.

"Well, it's the one called 'Twilia Does Vampire Cock'

"And, what makes this porn stand out from the rest?" I asked.

"It's great. He doesn't want to be with her, but he can't help himself. Twilia's name in the video is Twilia Vanpussy, and her vampire lover is Edwin Massive Cock. I like them because I think our cocks match, in width, not size."

Jared looked down at his hands like he was embarrassed of something.

"Jared, what is wrong?"

"It's … I try to watch porn and size the men up to me. I mean, I can get aroused by watching, but if the men are the same size, it kinda helps the image in my mind."

"I see. Is there any particular reason why you like the vampire one better than the rest?" I asked.

"Well, when he cums on her, it sparkles. I think that's pretty cool. She makes him want it. He tries to avoid her, but she forces him to do it. And, when he gets possessive of her because the werewolf comes around, it gets intense."

It seems even the vampires and wolves of this era have made it into porn.

Jared and I hashed out his likes and dislikes and set a tentative time of Thursday nights. I would open the door for him every Thursday, where he was consistently on time. He would strip in my foyer, where I would attach a collar. I would then place him on a leash and led him to the playroom. Once inside, he would lick my boots like the good little boy he was, and if he missed a spot, I made him start all over again. I always made sure the boots I used were properly cleaned before hand, and never, ever wore them outside the house. Boot worship wasn't something that turned me on greatly, but I knew it did him.

Once he licked my boots, I would demand him to drink from the water bowels on the floor of my playroom. He loved being called my slave and fucking boot licker. I wouldn't believe someone could get turned on from being called such things, but Jared did. His cock would twitch and harden when I used those words, and when I deepened my tone and made the harsh sounds, he would buck against anything looking for friction.

He actually came one time when I called him a good for nothing, can't even keep his job, porn watching junkie, all while pulling his hair back, making him look at me. I watched his eyes glaze over and the strain of veins in his face and then saw the puddle at my feet.

So, I played into that aspect. He got turned on by my humiliating words, and the control over him turned me on. I wondered what he would do with live porn in front of his face.

"Boot slave," I purred sweetly.

"I have a special surprise for you today, my little porn addict," I said leading him over to the cross. I lifted his arms above his head, attaching his left arm to the cuffs connected to the cross.

"You can look, but you can't touch," I cooed getting him all riled up.

I attached both his legs so he wouldn't be able to move. Once he was secure in his confides, I moved my chair in front of him. I had decided earlier in the day to make sure my outfit was easy to slide to the side and expose to him my pussy. I lifted my breasts out of the corset I was wearing. I pinched and teased my nipples as Jared watched, almost drooling at the mouth at the sight before him.

It wasn't much longer before my fingers found their way into my crotchless panties. I slipped my fingers into my folds and fantasized about the green-eye man of my dreams. Every so often when the cuffs rattled from across the room, Iopened my eyes to see Jared masturbating with his hand that I didn't cuff.

"That's a good little slut;be sure to work in all that pre cum from your tip," I said looking him right in the eyes.

I closed my eyes and went back to the green-eyed submissive at my feet. It wasn't longbefore both of us succumbed to our separate climaxes.

That was the first night I allowed anything to happen, and it was one of the reasons why Friday's client was allowed to do new things now.

Friday nights were the greatest for me because Mike Newton was my client then. Mike was a funny character and loved feet. Mike's foot fetish was so profound that many people shied away from him. Mike wasn't in the lifestyle really, but he did love feet. Our sessions always started out the same way every week; he would wash my feet, while I instructed him on the areas that needed the most work. He would then kiss every, toe sucking them into his mouth. He would swirl his tongue all over my toes. It was almost hard not to become turned on from his ministrations.

Once he was done loving them with his mouth, then he would love them with his hands. He would rub lavender oils he brought with him to massage my feet. Oh, the things he could do with those hands, and on tired feet that had stood all day.

But, that wasn't the only thing that Mike liked to do. As Mike massaged my feet, he would become aroused, and several times, he asked me to pull my feet toward my crotch and allow him to not only fuck me, but also my feet simultaneously.

"Please, Mistress," he begged at my feet.

"No, foot fucker," I would belittle him; he knew the rules.

"Give me something Mistress, anything," he pleaded.

After a while of hearing this every time we were together, I was having to punish him because he would beg. Good foot fuckers didn't beg; they took what their mistress allowed. I grew tired of punishing him. I set up a meeting with him before any more sessions took place.

"Right now we are talking as two consenting adults here, and some changes will have to be made before we can continue any longer," I stated.

"Okay," he said timidly.

When we sat at my dining room table, he was allowed to address me freely, but respectfully.

"You know the rules I have in place, and I don't plan on breaking those rules anytime soon. However, with the arousal you get from touching my feet, I think I might be able to comprise," I said.

He nodded for me to continue.

"I will now allow you to fuck my feet, but that is the only comprise."

Mike's eyes light up like a Christmas tree, and things after that were better for us. He found his pleasure in my feet, and I watched as he pleasured himself with them. He held my feet together as he trusted his three-inch dick between my soles. Sometimes I would move my feet along because let's face it having your feet massaged in any way was a bonus.

Saturday and Sunday were my free days. I had turned down a couple of clients. I was the mistress of my playroom. I didn't have to take everyone in. I only took in the one's I thought I could help; plus our lists had to match, otherwise I wasn't interested.

On Sundays I didn't have a client, but Esme and I would always meet up for lunch.

"So, how was this week?" Esme asked after ordering our food.

"Same ole thing," I replied sipping my water.

"Well, I have news. Carlisle's nephew is moving to Seattle. He should be here sometime this week."

"Really, that's great. I didn't know Carlisle had relatives," I said.

This was the first time Esme had ever mentioned family, I figured something must have happened to bring them to Seattle. Carlisle was originally from Chicago, but after finishing medical school, he moved here.

"We don't talk much about them. Carlisle and his brother had a falling out some years back, and things haven't been right between them ever since," Esme confessed.

"That's sad," I sighed.

It was sad when you didn't have anyone in your biological family to talk to or have some kind of bond with, and even more sad that a disagreement had caused the split.

"We've managed pretty well, but it gets to Carlisle every now and then. I'm actually quite shocked that his nephew is coming. I figured his father would forbid him from coming to find us."

"So, what do you know about your nephew?" I asked because it seemed she didn't have all the answers.

"Not much. Carlisle and his brother have been estranged for many years. I would say his nephew was born shortly before the time of the disagreement. Hell, I don't even know if Carlisle knew him as a child."

"How long have Carlisle and you been together?" I asked perplexed. I figured they had been together for a long while. They were the same age as my parents.

She giggled, "We meet twenty years ago. I think his nephew is twenty-three. He finished college last year, and then took off to Europe for a year. He recently came back to the States."

"I thought Carlisle and you had been together longer," I mused. However, twenty years wasn't as long as I thought.

"I know what you mean. It seems like we have been together forever too, but no."

"So, is he staying with Carlisle and you?" I asked around the salad that had arrived at the table.

"Unfortunately," she muttered.

"Why is that such a problem?" I asked.

"First of all, the fall out between the boys was over our lifestyle. I'm worried that if he lives with us that his father will try to say we corrupted him …" she stopped mid sentence and looked over at me with wide hopeful eyes.

"Oh, Bella … your parent's house, it's sitting there with no one living in it. Please, can Carlisle's nephew rent it from you while he is here?"

"I don't know Esme," I replied.

How did I feel about someone else living in that house? She did have a point. It was sitting, and I had to go out there in the winter to make sure the pipes didn't freeze. Maybe having someone in the house would eliminate the maintenance I had to do to keep it from falling apart.

"Please, Isabella," she begged.

Great, she first named me; it was a matter of time before she begged using my full name. I hate that crap. I had to stop her before she did.

"Fine," I mumbled.

"Oh, thank you so much. Now, I won't have to give up my playtime," she laughed.

I couldn't help it and laughed right along with her. Who wanted to give up playtime?

We talked about how much rent he should pay and when to expect him in town. I told her I would stop by with the keys to the house, and I wanted to meet him first. I wanted to see who was taking my parent's home. She couldn't give me much to go on; so I would have to see for myself. She said that when he was settled, we could have dinner, and I agreed. We were getting ready to leave the café when she pulled me in for a hug.

"Thank you so much, Bella."

"You're welcome," I replied hugging her back.

"You know you need someone to take care of you," she said pulling back from the embrace.

"I know," I mumbled.

I hated talking about my love life because it was nonexistent anymore.

"Maybe Carlisle's nephew would be interested in taking you on a couple of dates. Especially, with him being new in town and all."

"Don't worry about it, Esme. I'll find someone someday," I sighed.

"I know, but think about it at least."

I nodded and we parted ways.

I had to meet him first, but I bet he would be like every other male I had dated in the last couple of years. I wasn't about to have another one telling me what to do and when to do it. Hell, sometimes I strongly considered dating females. I wasn't opposed really, but there was something about a cock that turned me on. I decided I would let it go and ponder on it another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right guys another chapter and we have learned about all the clients Bella helps out. We didn't see the appearance of Edward, but don't worry because the next chapter will be his part in all this, and his explosive meeting with Bella. As always don't forget to leave a review, and follow if you haven't already.


	3. Carlisle's Nephew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: If you are interested in getting involved in the lifestyle, please take care and do research. Don't jump in the middle of the lifestyle after reading stories. Find a mentor in your area, find out about munches in your area, get out and get involved before you begin to play. Always be safe, sane, and consensual.
> 
> Edward is coming to Seattle and I can't wait to see what his reaction will be to Bella. Do you think they meet right away? Are they setup by Carlisle and Esme? Do you think they will get along and fall in love? Let's see …

Chapter 3

Carlisle's Nephew

It was wonderful to be back in the states, but depressing to be in Chicago. Before I left for Europe, I would have stayed here for the rest of my life, but now all I could think about was getting away. I needed a fresh start on life.

I thought that Europe would have been the turning point in my life that led to me settling down, but that was a bust. I went to Europe with my long time girlfriend, Heidi Marcus. We had dated all through high school and even held on through college. During our European trip, I was planning to propose. However, Heidi had other plans during our trip and ones that didn't include me being the one who proposed.

I often wondered how exactly it happened. I mean, she was with me and then all of the sudden, she wasn't. We had been to a lot of incredible places in Europe. On our first stop, we saw Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, and Stonehenge. Our next stop took us into France, where we saw the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame Cathedral, and toured The Louvre. Our last stop together was Italy, where we visited Milan. Heidi was in fashion heaven, and then slid down to Venice to enjoy a romantic gondola ride down the Grand Canal at night. That was the moment, I should have proposed, but chickened out. We left Venice with the intent of seeing the countryside of Tuscany, which started in Florence. Then came the turning point of our travels. While sharing a gelato in a tiny café in Florence, a gentleman walked up and introduced himself to the both of us.

Heidi mentioned wanting to see the countryside, and he quickly offered to take her on a tour. However, he was only driving a car with two seats, which meant I wouldn't be able to go. That was the last time I saw Heidi. I worried myself sick for months on end and went to the police many times begging them to find her, but every time they found nothing. I was about to exhaust all the money I had in staying there trying to find her when a note showed up at the front desk for me.

I opened the note and read the words that broke my heart in two. Heidi had seen the countryside with Aro, and in the last two months, they had fallen in love. I think she called it love at first sight. He proposed in his vineyard, and she was staying in Italy with him. She begged me to go home and to stop pestering the police about her whereabouts. Once I read the note, I headed to my room and packed my bags. It was then I decided I needed to start over.

I hadn't found a job yet in my field of choice, so moving now wouldn't be too much of a problem. I had the apartment Heidi and I shared packed up by movers. I was never stepping foot in there again. I called Mom and asked if I could stay with Dad and her until I decided where I was going to live. It didn't take her long to agree. It seemed that Dad was out of town at a conference and wouldn't be home until next week anyway, and Mom wanted the company.

I was looking through Mom's picture albums when I stumbled on a picture of Dad and his brother, Carlisle. It was years old. I barely remembered him and I never knew why.

Mom walked in and sat down beside me.

"Why doesn't Dad talk to Carlisle?" I asked curiously.

"That's something you will have to talk to your father about. I try to keep my thoughts about it to myself," she said.

"Tell me, Mom," I said. I got this same line every time I tried to discuss it with him.

"All I will say is he was living an unhealthy lifestyle, and your father and I do not approve," she huffed.

"Where is he now?" I asked.

"Seattle, Washington," she said before getting up to leave.

It didn't take long to locate a Carlisle Cullen in Seattle, Washington. A couple of Google searches and one yellow page lookup later, I had Carlisle's number and his address. When Mom headed to the country club, I decided it was my chance to extend an olive branch to my Uncle and call.

"Hello," the voice answered.

"Hello, this is Edward Cullen. I was wondering if I had reached Carlisle Cullen?" I asked.

"Yes, this is Carlisle. Edward … my brother?" he asked with hesitancy.

"No sir, Edward Cullen Jr. Sorry I didn't specify which one," I chuckled into the phone.

"Oh, okay hello, Edward. Good God, how old are you now son?" he asked.

"Twenty four," I replied.

"Well, time sure does fly. What can I do for you, Edward? I don't mean to assume you need something, but your father and I haven't spoken to one another in twenty three years. So you must either want something or have to tell me he is ill."

"He's not sick and you assumed right, I do want something …" I took a deep breath "… I recently returned from Europe, and I am looking for some place new to start my life. I can go off on my own, but felt that maybe it was time to start healing this divide in the family. I would like to get to know you and hopefully learn more about my uncle."

"Are you sick?" he asked.

"No sir, not that I am aware of," I said.

"Your father is not going to like this," he said.

"I'm sure he's not, but I am an adult and make my own decisions."

"True, but he probably will disown you because of it," he sighed.

"Look if you want to come, please do. I would love a chance to get to know you better, and I wouldn't mind bridging the gap. But, make sure you know what you are doing because I know your father well enough to know he will disown you."

"I'm aware that he won't like the fact, but something has to give. I'm their only child; let him disown me."

I didn't care if Dad disowned me; we didn't have a good relationship anyway. He always thought I was wasting my time with Heidi and at school. He wanted me to become a lawyer like he was, but when I studied to become a social worker, he thought I had lost my ever-loving mind. I wanted to help people, and it was one way to go about doing it. I could have been a doctor, but blood always made me a little squeamish. So I didn't go that route. He almost disowned me then.

"Well, that's up to you, but you're more than welcome here," he said.

"I'll be flying into Seattle on Wednesday. What happened that he doesn't talk to you? No one here will talk about it," I asked. I wanted to know what the big secret was about Carlisle.

"Oh, no! I'm not telling you what it's over. That would be one more reason for Ed to be pissed at me. I'm not giving him anymore ammunition."

"Fine, I'm a grown man. I can handle it. Everyone wants to treat me like a child with this family secret. I will figure it out and get the information I want," I vowed to find out what had caused this divide in my family and work to rectify it.

I told Mom I was moving to Seattle, and she about had a fit begging me not to go, but when I tried to reassure her that I wouldn't contact Carlisle, she calmed down a little. Dad didn't say a word as usual and left the room. He was pissed, but he knew if he said anything about it, I would rebel against whatever he said. It was easier for him to walk way verses standing and fighting it out. We wouldn't fight literally, but we would argue back and forth. That was one of the reasons he thought I would make an excellent lawyer.

~MLML~

Carlisle picked me up at Sea-Tac, and our conversation was nonexistent for almost an hour. I couldn't stand the silence anymore; so I started the conversation.

"Grandma wanted me to heal the divide in our family," I said.

I remembered the day as if it was yesterday.

My grandmother was lying in her hospital bed. She hadn't spoken in hours. I reached out to grab her hand. I knew it was getting close. Mom and Dad had stepped out to get coffee while I stayed with grandma.

"Eddie," she said barely above a whisper.

"I'm here," I whispered.

"Fix the boys … don't let them live their lives like this. Promise me you'll fix everything."

"I promise, Grandma," I whispered as tears streamed down my face.

"Eddie, don't let your Dad taint your thinking too," she whispered.

"I won't," I whispered trying to wipe the tears from my face.

"I love you, Eddie … take care of them," she breathed.

"I love you too, Grandma," I whispered.

Within a few moments of our whispered conversation, my grandma took her last breath and left this world.

It had been two years since Grandma has passed, and I hadn't done anything to fix the relationship between my father and my uncle. I was too busy living my own life to worry about them.

"I'm sure she did. Your father wouldn't let me come to the funeral," he said sadly.

"I know," I said. Dad had told me that Carlisle didn't care about their mother. He said it was the devil in him that made him act that way. I never understood what he actually meant, but it wasn't like he was providing me with any answers.

"I wanted to come. Hell, I wanted to bring Mom to Seattle to see if the doctors here could do anything for her. Her cancer could have been prevented if Ed would have only listened to me," he sighed.

"There isn't anything I can do to change things now. Did she have a nice funeral?" he asked still saddened by the conversation.

"Yeah, Dad did everything she wanted and more," I replied. Actually, I thought the whole thing was a little over done. She didn't need all the things he had gotten for her, but I chalked it up to it being his mother and no expense would be too great for her.

"That's great. So, are you seeing anyone?" he asked effectively changing the subject.

"No," I replied, and then finished telling him the details that led me to Europe and then home.

"Good. I needed to know if someone would be moving with you. The house Esme and I found for you belongs to a friend. She wanted to meet everyone who would be moving into the house beforehand."

"No, no one will be moving in with me while I'm here. Well, not right now anyway," I said.

We talked for the remainder of the way. He suggested a couple of places that could be looking for social workers, and even offered his office at the house to help me get things going.

~MLML~

Esme was great and I absolutely loved her. She had taken me to see the house I would be living in. I helped her to decorate it the way I wanted, but I wasn't allowed to move in until I meet Bella. Bella's schedule had been so crazy lately that she didn't have time to meet with us when I first got here, but was planning to come for dinner this Sunday.

I had been here for two weeks, and I wanted to get into the house as soon as possible. I had a couple of interviews in the area, but hadn't heard anything yet. My car had finally arrived from Chicago, and I was slowly finding my way around the city.

Carlisle's office had a computer in it. I had tried to limit my time in there. I really did not want to impose, but I couldn't get around it now. None of my stuff was unpacked, so I had to use his. I had to email my resume over to King County Department of Social Services. They were looking for another Child Support Officer, and I was hoping I would be selected for the job.

I walked over to the desk and sat down in front of the computer. I pulled out the gig stick that housed my resume, and logged into my email account, and typed in the address the receptionist had given me to send the resume to. While waiting for the return confirmation email that it was received, I was fooling around in the chair. I didn't notice it right away, but I knocked a couple of files from his desk into the floor. I reached down to pick up the files. I had a few in my hand already when I saw the pictures spread across the floor.

What the fuck?

I didn't mean to see them, but I couldn't believe someone would have these pictures. There had to be some explanation as to why Carlisle had them on his desk. I noticed a business card attached to the top.

Mistress Isa

Photography/Dominatrix Services

I looked at the pictures again, disgusted by the scenes depicted in the pictures. It was abuse of the worst kind, and this Mistress Isa was photographing the people doing this type of stuff to others.

Why did Carlisle have this stuff?

Was he investigating a case from the hospital?

I had so many questions, but there was a small note inside the file when I opened it to place all the pictures back inside.

Thanks Carlisle

XOXO

Isa

I was even more confused than before. I had to find out answers. I wasn't about to ask Carlisle. The people in my family didn't like to give me answers. I would have to find out from this Mistress Isa. I figured Carlisle would be pissed, thinking I was looking through his things on his desk.

I flipped the business card over and saw an address for a shop in Seattle. I entered the address into my iPhone, took pictures of the pictures, and put everything back together. I sent the pictures to my email account. I pulled the pictures up and used the printer hooked to the computer to print the pictures off. This Isa couldn't deny taking them or knowing about them with me having a copy to show her.

I didn't get to the studio right away. Things had taken off for me, and I had an interview with the King County Department of Social Services. But, after my interview on Friday, I planned to stop by and pay Mistress Isa a visit. Hopefully, one she would never forget.

~MLML~

Friday finally arrived. I packed the pictures in a special envelope. I didn't want to accidently hand the photos over to the interviewer, only to be denied a job because of them. It was all I could do to look at them.

The interview went well, and things could be starting to look up from me, but that wasn't what my primary concern was at the moment. I found the studio without any help from the GPS. She was located right downtown. I didn't want to go into the studio right away. So I sat outside and watched the people coming in and out of her studio.

I didn't want to judge the people going through her doors, but I couldn't help myself. I wondered how many were other clients? How many allowed her to photograph them naked?

I watched for the majority of the day, watching people come and go. Families, couples, and kids; that was the one that scared me the most. What if she was marketing those pictures to kids? What if she was taking pictures of kids like that? I would have to stop her, so I decided to move from the car.

I paced the outside of the studio for a good thirty minutes. I couldn't tell you why I was so nervous. It wasn't like I wouldn't have to deal with people while working with social services, but something about this had me on edge. I finally stilled my nerves and decided to keep Carlisle's name out of it. If she knew him, I would have to use another name. So, I quickly decided to go with my middle name in case she asked.

I opened the door to the studio and went in. No one was in the reception area; so I looked around, trying to see if she had a room or something here that would indicate that the photos were taken here. I was getting ready to open a closed door when a voice cleared behind me.

"Can I help you?" the female voice asked. I wasn't for sure if the voice I heard was that of Mistress Isa or not. So, I didn't assume that's who she was. I turned around and looked into the deepest chocolate eyes I had ever seen.

"Yes, maybe. Are you the owner of this studio?" I asked. I had already made the assumption that Mistress Isa was the owner of this establishment. I needed to find some way to ease into this conversation.

"I am," she said smiling brightly.

"Yeah, hum listen … I found this address listed on a business card. Hum, I don't want to assume anything, but I'm looking for a Mistress Isa," I said.

"Did you get the card from the club?" she asked cryptically.

"No, it was on some photos that I found. Here, let me show you the pictures." I reached into my messenger bag and pulled out the envelope of pictures.

I handed her the envelope, and watched as she looked through the shots.

"Where did you get these?" she asked with a little hatefulness in her voice.

"Does it matter? I want to know how you can sit back and take pictures of someone treating a person like this?" I asked sharply.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Are you a cop?" she asked getting pissed when I didn't answer.

"No, I'm not a cop. I'm a Social Worker, and I am investigating this as a potential abuse case."

"Abuse case, ha! That's rich," she said walking behind her desk.

I followed right behind her.

"Yes, abuse. The marks on that woman's back are grounds for a domestic violence investigation. If I can locate her, I can help her to press charges against the man in the photos, and I want you to give me her information," I stated.

"Well, you won't get it from me," she said placing her hands on the desk in front of her.

"All these photos were consensual, sane, and both parties signed a written agreement with one another. So, you're not getting shit from me," she huffed.

"When I call the cops and tell them you are running a sex ring out of this studio that will change your mind," I said hoping to make her tell me.

"You narrow minded son of a bitch. Let me tell you one thing … there is no sex ring running out of any part of this building. So, call the cops. I don't care. Prove I did something wrong," she sneered.

"Anyone who would stand up for these acts of abuse must be a sick individual," I argued.

"I'm not sick, tell me … did those pictures make you sick? Did you really feel worried? Or, did something in your brain scream, maybe they wanted it done? Because let me tell you Mister, those women enjoyed every moment that whip landed on their backs. Would you like to see more pictures where men enjoyed it too?"

"It's against the law. What you are doing is against the law," I yelled.

"Yes, maybe if the situation was different, it would be against the law, but like I have already tried to tell your narrow mind ass, these women were NOT being abused. They crave this and need it in their lives. I will not give you any information because you had no business having these shots anyway. I want to know whom you got them from because these people commissioned me for the job. Only me, a friend of mine, and the people who are in the photograph have a copy. Now, how did you get these?"

"I stumbled across them," I said which was the truth. However, the thing that took me by surprise was Carlisle could potentially be her friend because I didn't know anyone in the pictures. I wondered if she was trying to talk them into having pictures done like this. So many thoughts swirled around in my mind.

"Hum, you were looking through someone's things, and instead of telling whoever you got these from that you were snooping through their things, you came to me. Threaten me with the cops when you clearly violated someone's privacy. Boy, you have a lot of nerve."

"Look I won't report you to anyone, but this has to stop. You have to quit taking these photos, and your business card said you're a dominatrix too. That lifestyle is not normal or healthy for you," I said truly concerned for her well-being at the moment. Did she not realize she was in jeopardy of prosecution? If she had children, they could be taken away from her because of her lifestyle.

"What's normal? If you can tell me what is normal, then maybe I might consider throwing in my riding crop, but I highly doubt it."

"Normal is not wanting to hurt people or getting off on hurting them," I retorted.

"Who's to say I get off on it? My lifestyle is not about sex," she admitted.

"Yes, it is. That's what it's always been about with people who like to hurt other people," I said. I knew what her lifestyle was about. I wasn't born yesterday. I knew about red rooms and tie ups.

"Have you ever wanted to tie a girl up Mr. …" she trailed off prompting me for my name.

"Masen," I snarled.

"Have you, Mr. Masen? Have you ever wanted to fuck her tied to the posts of your bed? Have you ever wanted to fuck her so hard that the bed is banging against the wall? Have you ever wanted to smack her ass as you pounded your cock deep into her pussy?" she asked.

I was utterly speechless. How could this woman talk to me like this?

"You're silence tells all, Mr. Masen," she hinted.

"You know nothing about what I've wanted to do with women," I warned.

"Yes, but you are a blue blood male correct? Then tell me you haven't fantasized about something … anything in your life. Tell me you haven't fantasized about handcuffs and having a woman at your mercy. If you say that you haven't, you're a liar."

"I've fantasized, but those are none of your business," I wailed.

"You're right, it's not. What you do in your bedroom is none of my business. However, when you march in here and assume, then accuse me of not being normal, well I tend to add my two cents," she said sitting calmly at her desk. There wasn't anything so far that was making her cave, and if anything, she appeared to be getting stronger in her argument.

"You're a sexual deviant, and anyone who participates in your lifestyle is sick. You all need help."

"Sexual deviant," she said laughing.

"Is that the best you have?" she asked.

"I've heard worse things than deviant," she blustered.

"You get off on hitting people with whips and riding crops, tying them up and not letting them have control of their bodily functions. You are a social outcast for the things that you do. You'll lose everything you have because of your personal life. If the right people found out about your lifestyle, your children could be taken away from you because of it. You have to live in fear over your lifestyle choice. You probably didn't even tell your mommy and daddy about wanting to control someone, did you?" I asked.

"My parents are dead, Mr. Masen, and I think they know. Would you consider yourself a deviant? Would you rub your significant others feet? Would you do it often? Some might say you have a foot fetish, if you do. Some people need to be controlled, and some people want to be the one in control. Can you understand that? Or, does your narrow mind not allow those things."

I didn't say anything because we weren't getting anywhere. I was no closer to finding out about the people in the picture. I hadn't even learned if I was speaking to Mistress Isa or not. The whole thing was becoming pointless.

"I'm going to leave you with a parting word of advice. Don't come back to my studio. Don't sneak around your friends or parents private things. Oh, call the cops if you want to because you haven't got a leg to stand on. I'm afraid you have exhausted your welcome here," she said rising from her chair and walking over to the door. She pushed the door opened and gave me a pointed look.

"I'll be back looking for answers," I vowed as I walked toward the door.

"Please call before you come this way, so I can call my lawyer or reschedule all my clients for the day. I have nothing more to say to you," she warned.

I barely got out the door before she slammed it in my face. I watched as she shut off all the lights, pulled the shades over the glass, and turned her open sign to close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right … Edward and Bella have met, but at this moment his views about the lifestyle have clouded him in seeing the beauty that is before him. Don't worry he will come around. As always be kind and review.
> 
> ***The views Edward has are his not my own … just wanted to throw that out there. I have always been curious about the lifestyle and there are aspects that intrigue me greatly always have and probably always will even prior to fan fiction. I feel that we all have a little kink in us somewhere it just depends on your level and whether or not you choose to admit it to yourself.


	4. If Looks Could Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: If you are interested in getting involved in the lifestyle, please take care and do research. Don't jump in the middle of the lifestyle after reading stories. Find a mentor in your area, find out about munches in your area, get out and get involved before you begin to play. Always be safe, sane, and consensual.
> 
> What do you think Bella thought about Edward? Do you think she will be surprised when she learns that he is Carlisle's nephew? Let's see what Bella thinks of Mr. Cullen aka Mr. Masen.

Chapter 4

If Looks Could Kill

BPOV

I slammed the door in Mr. Masen's face. I really wanted to bend him over my knee and whip the shit out of him. What I wouldn't give to turn his ass a cherry red? In that moment, I would have given anything to hang him from my cross and torture him for several hours until he learned the appeal of pleasure and pain.

I huffed around the studio trying to figure out what to do with myself. Jared was scheduled for tonight, but after Mr. Masen's visit, I wasn't much in the mood. Well, if I would have went into that playroom with him, there would have been a good chance he would have suffered the wrath that Mr. Masen deserved. He was a little disappointed at first, but when I said I would give him a double dose next week, he was happy again.

Instead, I worked on the computer getting different packages printed out for my clients. When I had finished for the night, I finally gathered my things and the pictures he had given to me, and made my way home.

After finding something to eat and getting a glass of wine, I sat down on my couch and carefully studied the pictures again. I had marked each of my pictures with a special watermark for each person receiving a copy of the photos. My pictures where saved on my external hard drive, which I have locked up here at home.

The client's photos had a very small watermark with my initials on them. And, Carlisle's has a little bigger watermark with both our initials on his. However from the looks of the pictures he had taken,I knew they weren't the originals. But, the watermark wasn't visible. So, I didn't know whom they could have come from. Plus, the pictures weren't of one couple, but a couple of different couples. There were pictures actually missing from the sets.

Maybe when Mr. Masen found the pictures, he pulled the ones, which depicted what he would call the worse acts of violence to copy. There were other pictures in the sets of photographs that showed the different levels of submission. Not only the submission, but the love and respect each couple had for one another.

Those were the aspects of the photos that stood out to me. When the bottom would have a certain look in their eyes knowing what could potentially come next. I never told the clients what to do with one another. I would direct them for the best lighting or angle, but never how to perform in front of me. I mainly run around capturing everything that stood out to me. And, when the look I wanted, when their bodies would bend to achieve the love and trust they had to have with one another, was when I would get my best shots.

I sighed dropping the photos onto the table. I was hoping to see my mark on the copies. This would help me to know who to warn about a noisy friend or relative, but I was lost as to whom to go to. I could potentially ask my client's if they had family or friends over, but I felt that it might be to forward of me to ask. Or, maybe inquire where they keep their pictures. But, I didn't want to scare them if it wasn't them.

I knew Carlisle's nephew was in town, but would he really be that deceitful? I mean, Carlisle and Esme were exceptional people and wouldn't lie to save their souls, but his nephew I didn't know about. I worried about the type of influence his father might have had on him. Even though I didn't know the extent of his disgust in the lifestyle, I had to wonder if that was who had the pictures. But, his last name wasn't Cullen … not unless he used an assumed name. Would he do something like this? I was left with more questions than answers. So, I decided I would discuss things with Carlisle to see what he thought about it first.

I didn't like the fact that someone could get a hold of this information so easily. Hell, this information could potentially damage careers, if placed in the wrong hands. If someone had known that the lady in one of the pictures was a teacher, she would have definitely been out of a job. Thank God, Carlisle and I both had always suggested using masks or something to conceal their identities. Otherwise, people could end up getting hurt or worse. But, we also had to be careful where these pictures were located. If a child found them, whoever possessed them could be in trouble. So, whomever these pictures were taken from didn't properly hide their photographs. I always tried to express these things upon my clients that had children.

One thing Mr. Masen had right was that living in this lifestyle wasn't always the easiest thing. People judged us and didn't understand or take the time to see that it was a need within us. There have been people in this lifestyle that had lost their jobs, their children, and even been run out of town. It's really a sad situation, but it does happen.

If Mr. Masen had called the police today, I would have allowed them to search my studio because there wasn't anything going on. The majority of my clients were seen in their own playrooms or playrooms that the club offered for rent. I tried to never conduct any of those business deals out of my office. I meet clients at the club, restaurants, or even their own homes.

The only time clients were given the address to my studio was when the photo shoot was over and they had received their pictures. However, if somehow they came to my studio, I would hand them a slip of paper with an address to the club or restaurant and a time we could meet;always somewhere other than here.

To me, this kept my business clean and away from the lifestyle, and it was a suggestion of one of the attorneys at the club. Yes, all walks of life participated in this lifestyle, and it required levels of security to keep their private lives private. I thought that people who walked around advertising what they were didn't have anything to lose from doing so.

I had never experienced the mishaps of this lifestyle, but I took precautions against it. I didn't charge my clients in the dominatrix aspect. However, I did kindly ask them to donate to a charity of their choosing or if they couldn't think of one, I always went with the Women's Abuse Shelter downtown. Once they had proven they had donated, then the sessions would begin. I felt like this was protecting me from being charged with prostitution and being that I wasn't having sex with any of my clients then, everything worked out.

There was always room for something bad to happen. There are ways a person in this lifestyle could get in trouble, and what I always worried about was if a scene turned out to be more intense, painful, or harmful than the submissive thought it would be; therefore, causing them to call the police. This was the reason I canceled on Jared. What if I had hurt him in the process? That wouldn't have ended well for me. I had to think about both our mental states going into a scene.

Of course, there is always the worry of serious injury or an injury that another might consider abuse. To the outside world, some scenes are not viewed as consensual and could even be misconstrued as being illegal, causing the concerned person who witnesses them to involve law enforcement in the process.

I've seen a couple of people that have held grudges against the lifestyle and call the police. That's what I worried about with Mr. Masen. If he held a grudge or didn't like the community he could cause some trouble, and the pictures would be the first bit of evidence.

The other and more common to me was a jilted submissive. It happens all the time when two people split. If one is not happy about the situation or the fact that they have found someone new, they can claim abuse or assault. But, this could also happen in any relationship whether it is a D/s or vanilla.

I told Mr. Masen that everything was done with consent, which it was, but consent wouldn't stop the fact that I too was an active participate in the scene. Consent didn't always standup in the court of law, and that was something the community wanted to get passed. Aro and several other members worked on getting the law makers to allow us to use consent as a defense in areas where it was necessary and clearly something the submissive had asked for beforehand. But, we were still viewed as perverse, deviants, or even immortal for doing those types of things to people. If only they could see that it was all consensual encounters between adults and not a brutal sexual assault, everything would be better.

I got up from the couch and made my way to my room. I wasn't getting anywhere thinking about the things that were said or even the laws regarding things. I would call Aro tomorrow and give him a heads up. I knew if I needed him to come and mediate the situation with Mr. Masen, he would, but I was truly hoping that Mr. Masen would forget the photos and move on with his life.

~MLML~

Other than Mr. Masen on Friday, my weekend was pretty great. I finally found the time to get all my photos printed and was actually ahead of schedule for once. I shouldn't have taken that wedding three weekends ago, but hind sight twenty-twenty; it ended up all working out. I always hated doing them, but my receptionist Angela begged me to do the photos for her and Ben's wedding; so, I caved. It really was a beautiful wedding and for a fleeting moment, I actually wished it was me with someone special.

With Angela being gone for two weeks on her honeymoon, things had gotten pretty backed up at the studio. I felt bad that I hadn't been able to get to meet Carlisle's nephew earlier. The timing was just awful. I had gotten everything done, and with me canceling on Jared, it had allotted more time to get things done so I could have dinner with them.

I pulled up to their house, noticing the Silver Aston Martin sitting in the driveway. I scoffed; of course he would be a rich boy. He was already starting off on the wrong foot with me. I felt like he would be like everyone else I had ever encountered in my life.

I opened the door to the house and walked in. Esme and Carlisle knew I was coming, and if they were in the middle of playtime, the door sure as hell wouldn't be wide open. That was something I learned with them. Carlisle always had an open door policy, so to speak. I firmly believe, if he thought it was safe to leave his doors unlocked all the time, he would.

I smelled the wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen. I knew where Esme would be just from the smell of things. Esme was an excellent cook. I could hold my own, but I didn't do much being by myself. I needed a man who didn't mind cooking either.

"Hey girl," I said walking up besides her looking into the pot.

"Hey, about time you got here," she said smiling.

"Yeah, it's been crazy since Angela got married and left for her honeymoon," I sighed.

"I bet it has," she said lifting the spoon to her mouth to taste.

"Mmm," she said.

"What are we having tonight?" I asked.

I knew we were having something with tomato sauce, but I didn't know what.

"Spaghetti," she said pouring the sauce over the meat I hadn't noticed to the side.

"So, how are things with Carlisle's nephew?" I asked walking to the refrigerator to get myself a bottle of water.

"He's great! Oh, Bella … I can't wait until you meet him. He's absolutely gorgeous, and he has the greenest eyes I've ever seen," she said mixing the meat and sauce. The green eyes … hmm my green eyed submissive that I could never make out all of his face because he was wearing a hood.

"He's tall and lean with copper colored hair."

I listened and tried to remember the color of Mr. Masen's hair from the studio, but I wasn't paying attention to the way he looked, and if I had to give it a color, I would have said golden brown or reddish color.

"He's so polite and sweet," she said gushing about him.

"We will see," I said into the opening of my bottle. I wasn't going in there thinking he was the next best thing to peanut butter. I had done that before in my life and ending up being sadly wrong.

"Come on, the foods ready and the boys are in the dining room," she said picking up the sauce, meat bowl, and the garlic bread, while I grabbed the wine and the pasta.

We walked into the dining room, and I had all my attention focused on the food I was carrying, making sure I didn't trip. I wasn't always sure footed and carrying too many things at once made my odds of falling even greater. I heard his voice before I saw his face.

"Isn't it a mental illness?" he asked Carlisle.

I looked up the same time he did and the look of shock was written all over his face.

"You," I seethed.

"You allow this trash into your house?" I asked looking directly at Carlisle. I couldn't believe he would allow someone who thought our lifestyle was deviant, sick, and perverted to be sitting at his table.

"Isabella," he scolded.

"You will respect me in my own house."

"Yeah, fuck that … this little twerp …" I pointed at Mr. Masen "… riffled through your things, finding private pictures, and then came to my studio to confront me. I have to respect you, but he doesn't like our kind," I seethed.

"I will take care of him, but you need to step out and calm down, before I ask you to leave," he stated.

I was pissed, and for Carlisle to use the damn dominant card and voice on me was a wrong move. Just because I respected him and looked up to him in some ways didn't mean he needed to kick me out of his house. However, I did need a cigarette before I marched in there and dragged Mr. Masen back to Carlisle's playroom and whipped him into submission.

I walked to the edge of the estate, far away from the house. Hell, I think I stomped the majority of the way, but once I got there, I leaned against the boulder that was right on the forest edge.

I pulled out my pack and beat the pack on the palm of my hand so hard that the whole thing was dented at the top. I figured I better stop before I destroyed all of my cigarettes. I opened the pack and pulled a cigarette out placing it between my lips as I placed the foil and trash into the pocket of my jeans.

I fired up my cigarette, drawing the first toke into my lungs. I blew the smoke out of my nose working on calming myself. Half way through the cigarette, I finally calmed down enough. I knew Carlisle wouldn't hold it against me once I told him everything Mr. Masen had said to me, but it was getting to that point.

"He's not that bad really," Carlisle said coming up behind me.

"Could have fooled me," I sneered.

"He doesn't know the ins and outs, Bella," he said calmly.

"I didn't either at one time Carlisle, but I never said anything negative to anyone associated with the lifestyle. You didn't know that he had my pictures and accused me of operating a sex ring out of the studio," I huffed.

"He's been talking today about the lifestyle, asking questions. I think since seeing the pictures, which by the way, he wasn't riffling through my things, but knocked them off the desk while using my computer; he's intrigued," he said.

"He thought the bottoms were being abused," I sighed.

"Wouldn't everyone think that?" he asked.

"Yes, because everyone thinks they are being abused if some strikes them."

"A common mistake," he mused.

"Common enough that he asked who they were. He wanted to talk them into pressing charges against the top. I didn't give it to him."

"That's good, remember Aro says to always remain calm and don't offer any information," he stated.

"I know, but next time, I want Aro present if I plan on talking to Mr. Masen," I said motioning toward the house.

"Why did you call him Mr. Masen?" he asked puzzled.

"Because that is the name he used, and I don't know if he is a Cullen or not. Hell, I don't even know his first name," I said looking over at Carlisle as I stubbed my cigarette on the ground.

"I don't know about letting him use my house," I stated.

"Yeah, that was what I was afraid of. God, Ed is going to hate me even more now," he sighed.

"Who's Ed?" I asked.

"My brother, Edward's father," he said. At least now I had a first name.

"What's the deal with his father?" I asked. I wanted to know if he had spread the same thoughts and stupid ideas to his son.

"We had a falling out years ago," he said looking out into the forest.

"He walked in on my girlfriend and me at the time. I was just starting in the lifestyle, and I had her tied to the bed."

"That doesn't sound so bad," I mused.

"That's not the worst of it. Ed quickly walked back out of the room. I think he would have been okay with me just having her tied up, but it was a combination of things.

We were still in school at the time he walked in on me. Edward Sr. is two years older than me, and he was getting ready to graduate when everything went all to hell. Ed had just proposed to Elizabeth. Things were going great, and she moved into the apartment we shared. I was still with Carmen, and we had been actively participating in the lifestyle for a couple of years.

One night Elizabeth noticed marks on Carmen's wrists from the handcuffs we had used the night before and had a fit. She complained to Ed, and he casually asked me about it. When I explained that Carmen liked to be restrained, he gave me a high five like I had done something awesome."

"That doesn't sound bad," I replied.

"It's not, that's not where things went all to hell. That was the beginning."

He leaned up against the boulder, and I fired up another cigarette. Offering him one in the process, Carlisle didn't smoke often, but with him telling something hard to discuss, I figured he might need a little nicotine.

"There were different incidents like the handcuffs … bruises on her thighs or back, something Liz would notice and comment about them. I overheard her talking to Ed one night about how she thought I was hitting Carmen and abusing her. She threatened to call the cops if Ed didn't set me straight."

I watched as he sucked the smoke into his lungs and blew it out through his mouth.

"He talked to me again, and once again, I assured him it wasn't abuse and that we were just having some kinky fun. Ed once again acted like it was all good. Until Valentine's night, Ed and Liz were out to dinner, and Carmen and I wanted to capitalize on the fact that no one was in the house. I had her tied to the coffee table in the come fuck me pose," he smiled.

The 'come fuck me pose', it was a good pose. The bottom was face down on the floor with their ass in the air, grabbing their ankles.

"I had her wrists tied to her ankles and a ball gag in her mouth. I was rotating strikes with my riding crop when Ed and Liz walked in on us. But, there's more. I had already disciplined Carmen earlier in the evening for being a brat, and her ass had small blue bruises and was still red. The strikes from the riding crop only added to the scene."

"Proof you were abusing your girlfriend," I mused.

"Yes, and that was all they needed to call the cops."

"They didn't?" I asked shocked they would go that far.

"Oh, they did, and I was arrested for assault on a female," he said.

"How in the hell did you get out of it?" I asked amazed that he not only got out of it, but somehow still managed to become a doctor with it on his record.

"Aro and Felix," he said stubbing his cigarette out on the side of the boulder.

"Aro and Felix, they were in Chicago?" I asked perplexed.

"No, we went to school here at UW. Mom was originally from Washington and Dad was from Chicago. They met when he was in Washington on a business trip. Mom moved to Chicago. Ed and I always wanted to go to UW, so that is what we did. Aro was my mentor, and Felix was Aro's inside man," he smiled.

It sounded like nothing had changed; it still worked that way to this day.

"Carmen, also just happened to be Felix's sister. So, he talked to her and the cops, and before long the charges were dropped. They weren't as strict about things like that back then."

"So, what happened after that?" I asked wondering how things finally imploded.

"I was locked up for seventy-two hours, and when the charges were dropped, I was released. Nobody bothered to come and pick me up. I walked home. Ed was sitting on the couch when I walked in. He was disgusted that his brother could lie to him, that I would hurt a woman, and that I didn't feel terrible about doing it. I tried to explain to him what I was and how I felt, but he was convinced I was a pervert, sexual sadist, and a deviant. There were other things he called me, but it doesn't matter now."

Carlisle picked up a rock and threw it into the woods.

"He disowned me that night and kicked me out of the apartment. I went to live with Aro for a while, and figured out how to get myself back together. Ed and I were always so close and did everything together. It was like someone had kicked me in the gut. He wouldn't talk to me if he saw me on the street. He moved back to Chicago when he graduated. I went home one summer hoping to patch things up before I headed to medical school. It was pointless; Liz was pregnant and wouldn't allow me in their house. Ed told all my friends from the neighborhood. I got my ass kicked several time that summer, and even fathers of the girls I used to date cornered me wanting to know if I had ever touched their daughters in that way. People in the neighborhood cursed me and called me a heathen. Hell, some of the women would avoid walking around me. It was like I had coodies or something. I confided in my mother, letting her know I was still the same boy she knew and loved. She never once condemned me for my choices and still loved me no matter what. I wasn't going to let them run me out of town until they tied me to a tree and beat the shit out of me. They left me for dead, and the one person who should have come to my rescue was the one cheering them on."

I broke down and started crying. Oh, my God, they had tortured him because of his sexual preferences.

"I'm so sorry," I cried.

"It's not your fault," he sighed.

"Did they get in trouble?" I asked trying to wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I didn't tell on them. An angel found me that night, and I have never let her go," he smiled handing me a tissue from his pocket.

"How did you?" I asked holding up the tissue.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve when it comes to injustices."

"Esme found you?" I asked.

I couldn't believe she hadn't told me about it.

"Yes, she was in the park when she saw the commotion."

"I thought she was from Washington too," I mused.

"Nope, Chicago, but you will have to ask her about her past. I won't share it."

Now, I was curious.

"I thought you moved out here after college," I said confused.

"We moved to Dartmouth, for a while, so I could finish medical school, and I have never run into people who knew me from college except for people from the community. I didn't get out much during college, always stuck in a book and easily missed," he shrugged.

"But, you knew my parents," I said trying to figure everything out.

"Charlie was a bird of a different color. He knew about Carmen and Felix. Hell, he knew about Aro, and when I was with them, he knew about me. Your father was new on the force when it happened. But he never judged me. Your father had a keen eye for details and information. He would have made a damn good detective, but he was happy being a beat cop. Your mother was the same way. She always accepted me for who I was and not what I did in the privacy of my own home. That's why we were such good friends."

Carlisle talked for a little longer and promised to talk to Edward about things and just get everything out in the open. I told him if Edward came and apologized and was clearly remorseful that I would allow him to move in, but only if he could understand the situation. Carlisle agreed and told me he would let me know.

I didn't even go in the house. I walked straight to my car and called Esme to apologize to her for leaving without telling her goodbye. She told me we would have to talk soon, but wasn't mad for me leaving.

I was completely blown away by the way people could behave over something that was really none of their business. Like Carlisle had said about my parents … what I did in the privacy of my own home was no one else's concern.

I crawled into bed and fell asleep dreaming about my green eyed submissive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right another installment for this story. I hope everyone is enjoying the ride and don't worry, I have to build Edward up to being a bottom. It will take time and there will be a little twist in here, but no heavy angst. I'm tired of writing heavy bad guys at the moment. The next chapter we will see Edward and his chat with Carlisle. Hang on while I get everyone lined up and ready to go. As always be kind and review.


	5. Why  Did It Have To Be You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would love to thank the wonderful women who help me. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But remember, we are not perfect and even though six eyes are better than two, we are human and make mistakes. So, thanks to my beta(s) on this chapter: dannibags, piesmom
> 
> I plan to update this story once a month at the moment. I can't give you a specific day yet, but I will be sure to include that in the notes if that changes. I'm working on three stories at once, and I think a schedule would be the best idea. So, please bear with me here. If I am able to update sooner, I will, but I didn't want to say every week and then something happen and I couldn't make it.
> 
> Warning: If you are interested in getting involved in the lifestyle, please take care and do research. Don't jump in the middle of the lifestyle after reading stories. Find a mentor in your area, find out about munches in your area, get out and get involved before you begin to play. Always be safe, sane, and consensual.

Chapter 5

Why Did It Have To Be You?

EPOV

I walked away from the studio with more questions than answers. One of those being, why did Carlisle have those pictures? I needed to know what was going on and knew I would have to come clean and ask him about them. But, I wanted to do a little research first.

I hadn't unpacked my laptop yet, which I found odd because that thing was usually glued to my hip in Chicago. But since Heidi and I broke up, I tried to find reasons to not go on Facebook. I even removed the app from my iPhone so I wouldn't be tempted to look her up to see what she was doing. Everything about the breakup had hurt, and I knew in order to get over it, I would have to remove myself from there too. I had been successful thus far in not going to her account.

I pulled onto a gravel road on the outskirts of Seattle, hoping to get a chance to do some research before I reached Carlisle and Esme's house. I pulled out my iPhone and looked up everything there was to know about BDSM, and some of the aspects completely shocked me. I sat so long in my car that I had to get out and piss before I headed to the house.

I put my iPhone back into my pocket and got out of the car. I wasn't about to piss on the side of the road. So, I locked everything up and ventured into the woods to find somewhere a little more secluded to relieve myself. I stopped when I thought I was out of sight and began to urinate on the tree in front of me, but what really caught my attention was the sun shining through the shadowed forest.

I quickly finished up, wanting to know what opening allowed the sun to shine in and walked to it. I was mesmerized by the textures and the colors as I walked, but what shocked me the most was when the forest opened up into a clearing. It was absolutely beautiful. I felt so at home in this spot that I decided to take a seat as I searched through more websites.

I read so much information that my eyes went cross. I never knew that so many things went into being or becoming a Master/Mistress. And, to be quite honest, some of the things turned me on greatly. If it wasn't for the fact that I was still sitting outside, I might have been inclined to pleasure myself here, but I was afraid that someone would walk up on me at any minute. I did, however, lie back in the grass and soak up the warmth from the sun. Allowing it to infiltrate every fiber of my being, and it slowly lulled me to sleep.

~MLML~

I awoke some hours later to a ringing phone and an ant crawling across my face. I quickly wiped him off and answered my phone.

"Edward? Where are you?" Esme asked.

"About a mile or so down the road. I will be home shortly," I replied, ending the conversation with Esme. She had already stepped into the role of mother very quickly, even though I didn't need one. She would get concerned if I didn't show up for dinner, and I tried to humor her. Carlisle and Esme had never had children, and I figured that with me being younger than her, the mothering nature took over whenever I was around. Honestly, it felt good for someone to worry about me for once; my parents never did.

After stretching, I pulled my body from the grass and hiked back out to my car. I was lucky that someone didn't come along and break into her. I quickly hopped in and pulled out, heading toward the house. I didn't mind staying with Esme and Carlisle, but I would soon have to find my own place to live. I hoped things worked out with Carlisle and Esme's friend, and she allowed me to move into her house.

Finally, pulling into the driveway, I noticed that Carlisle was already home and wondered if he would be able to talk. The sooner I cleared my conscience, the better. I was walking towards the door when Carlisle rushed out.

"Emergency?" I asked, as he ran passed.

"Yeah, don't know when I will be back," he yelled, before he climbed into his car and flew out of the driveway. There went my chances of talking to Carlisle.

Several days passed before I actually had a chance to talk to Carlisle about the pictures.

I had gotten the job as a Child Support Caseworker and had been going through training. Carlisle's emergency made him stay at the hospital for a seventy-two hour shift. So, it wasn't until now that I was going to finally have my chance to tell him about the pictures.

Carlisle and Esme's friend was due at the house around seven, and I had to talk to him before she arrived. I didn't want her to overhear our conversation because I didn't know if Carlisle was involved or not.

I decided I would run while waiting for Carlisle to wake up. As I walked into the house, I smelled the coffee and knew it wouldn't be long before his presence was known.

"Carlisle been down yet?" I asked Esme, as I poured my own cup.

"No, not yet. But once he smells this, it won't be long," she said smiling, serving up his mug of coffee.

"Good morning," Carlisle said behind us.

"Good morning, darling! How did you sleep?" Esme asked, handing him his cup of Joe.

"Good," he replied, taking the first sips of his coffee.

He reached for the paper and headed toward the dining room table. That was Carlisle's typical morning ritual. I knew I would have to wait until he asked for another cup before I brought up anything. Carlisle wasn't exactly a morning person and with him having pulled a seventy-two hour stint, his mood would be a little off until that second cup.

I walked up to my room and headed toward the shower. I figured that would give Carlisle enough time to wake up and be ready for any discussions.

Once my shower was done, I headed back down to the dining room where Carlisle was still sitting, but this time, his plate was empty.

"Do you have a moment?" I asked, approaching the table.

"Sure," he said, putting his paper down and removing his reading glasses.

"What do you know about the BDSM community here in Seattle?" I asked, hoping his face would give something away, but nothing changed.

"A little, why do you ask?" he asked, leaning back in his chair.

"I want you to know that I wasn't going through your things, but the other day I found some pictures in your office," I admitted.

"I have several pictures in my office. You are going to have to be more specific, Edward."

"These pictures," I said, pulling the envelope from behind my back laying them on the table in front of him.

Carlisle reached over grabbing the envelope and opened them, pulling out the pictures I had printed off. He thumbed through them and then laid them down on the table.

"I accidently knocked over something and those pictures fell out," I said, not wanting him to think I had been going through his things.

"What do you want to know about these pictures?" he asked, motioning to them.

"Do you know these women?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, but didn't give me anything else.

"Are you investigating a sex ring or an abuse situation?"

"No, what makes you think that?" he asked, with his hands resting on the table leaning forward.

"Because these women are being abused, and I assumed maybe they had come through your emergency room," I stated.

I was overstepping my bounds by asking him to give out potentially confidential information, but I had to know.

"I am not, but even if I was, I can't give that information to you. We do have caseworkers at the hospital," he stated.

"I am aware, but I didn't know what to think when I saw these pictures," I said defeated. I wasn't getting anywhere, and he wasn't giving me anything to go on.

"Rest assured these women have not been abused," he said, picking up my pictures and getting up from his chair. He was about to leave the dining room.

"I'm not done," I said rather rudely.

"For now you are. My suggestion … do some research," he said, leaving the dining room.

I sat there for a moment totally shocked. He had cut me off without listening to anymore of my questions. Maybe Mistress Isa was right; maybe they weren't being abused, and I needed to find out more information.

I finally pulled myself from the table and headed toward my room. I flopped down on the bed and pulled out my iPhone. I scrolled through the information I had already read through, but this time, I really looked.

It seemed that the whole thing was about control, and the bottom or submissive would allow the top or dominant to have control in these kinds of situations. After reading this, it seemed that the bottom or submissive was the one who controlled the whole situation. At any time, they could safe word and end the whole interaction, which then would blow my theory out of the water. Those women weren't being abuse if they could safe word to end all play, but why would they allow someone to do those things to them?

I was wrong, once again on another note, when I read that sex was not essential to play. Everyone that played all adopted the motto of safe, sane, and consensual, which came back to when Mistress Isa was telling me it was a consensual shoot. Everyone knew what was going to happen and had agreed to those terms. I was the biggest tool in the shed. I had looked and automatically assumed everything to be abuse and violence. I needed to apologize to Mistress Isa.

I scrolled through a couple of more aspects and started reading the words the acronym stood for, and when bondage appeared, that was one thing I wasn't too upset about. I thought it was rather erotic to see women bound or the thoughts of being bound while a woman did what she wanted to me; it sounded highly interesting. Maybe I could talk Mistress Isa into teaching me a thing or two about what it's like. I wonder if she would since I showed my ass in the middle of her studio.

The only thing that truly bothered me about the whole situation was the psychological effects. I mean, when you have someone who punishes you and then demands you to act a certain way, wasn't that taking away your free will? I don't know if I could handle someone telling me what to do or controlling every aspect of my life. I was so used to controlling my life. When my father would try to butt in and control it for me, I didn't like it. So, how would that affect them mentally?

During my psychology class, we had learned about different circumstances of control like Stockholm syndrome, battered wife syndrome, or a situation where the patient had been brainwashed. There were aspects of this lifestyle that had those elements. Now, this was something I needed to discuss with Carlisle. Were those women in the photos brainwashed into doing those things for the camera? Would they want to do this normally?

I shut my iPhone down because all this information was giving me a headache. I needed to talk to Carlisle to see his thoughts on the how mental illness or different syndromes that I knew could cause problems within the lifestyle.

I rested my head against the pillow, and before long, drifted off into a deep sleep.

"Edward," she called to me.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, kneeling in front of her.

"You've been a bad boy this week, haven't you?" she asked, tapping her foot.

"Yes, ma'am," I reluctantly replied.

"What is your punishment for being a bad boy?" she asked.

"Ten spankings," I replied, with my head down.

"Assume the position," she demanded.

I stood in front of her and dropped my jeans and boxers to the floor, exposing my ass to her. I leaned over the edge of the couch in front of us.

"You know how I hate to have to punish you, but you made some very bad decisions Edward. When you saw those pictures on Carlisle's desk, you should have put them back where they belong like the good little boy I know you can be. But no, you took things into your own hands and confronted me about them instead," she said.

"I'm sorry, Mistress," I replied.

"You will be once I get done with you," she said, landing the first spanking to my bare ass.

"Thank you, Mistress," I replied.

I did this every lick she gave me. Once she had finished the five warm-ups, she then delivered the ten for my bad behavior; my ass was good and sore.

The only downfall of getting punished is, while she was tring to correct my bad behavior, my mind would wander. I tried to focus on the punishment, but I couldn't help but be turned on by her hand hitting my ass.

I woke up ringing wet and with a hard on from hell. Mistress Isa was in my dreams punishing me for going to her at her studio. I leaned back and allowed the thoughts of her to permeate my brain. I ran my hands down my stomach to my cloth covered dick.

I closed my eyes and allowed the dream to play into my fantasies. I could feel her body leaning over my own as she handed out my punishment. Once the spankings were completed, she ran her hands around my hips and headed straight towards my hardened cock.

"My naughty little pet loves his spankings, doesn't he?" she asked, rubbing around my hips, coming in close contact with my now aching member.

"Yes, Mistress. I love it when you spank me," I replied.

"Do you think you've learned your lesson?" she asked, rubbing her hands on my hip bones.

"Yes, Mistress," I replied, getting lost in the feeling of her hands on my body and close to where I wanted her the most.

I slid my shorts and boxers out of my way and reached into the night stand to pull out the lotion. I squeezed a little in my hand and rubbed my hands together, warming the lotion to my liking. I grabbed my cock and stroked it a couple of times before I lost myself in the thoughts of the Mistress Isa.

She ran her hand down my shaft, getting the pre-cum from the tip and using it to lubricate us.

"Someone is already leaking," she purred in my ear. Her body was still behind my own.

"I need you, Mistress," I begged, hoping she would allow me to cum.

"I can see that, my pet. How bad do you want me?" she asked, stroking my member.

"Badly," I groaned, as she circled the head with her fingers.

She didn't ease up either and made a circle with her index finger and thumb, making it tight as she used those fingers to slide down my slick shaft.

I moaned as she did this repeatedly.

"Cum in my hand, pet," she demanded, as she picked up the strokes, causing me to thrust with her movements. Within a matter of minutes, I was coming undone in her hand and feeling like my body was going to give out.

"Such a good little pet," she purred in my ears.

I opened my eyes, ending the fantasy, and feeling completely drained from the orgasm I had. I ripped off my shirt and wiped my hands, but didn't move any further. It was sad to think, but that was the best orgasm I had ever had, and it was all thanks to being controlled by Mistress Isa.

~MLML~

I showered again after taking liberties with myself and decided to see if Carlisle would talk to me about the community again. I walked straight to his office, but it was locked, and I wasn't for sure if he was even there. It was getting closer to when their friend should arrive.

I walked downstairs and found him, once again, at the dining table. I could smell the aromas coming from the kitchen and knew Esme was cooking dinner.

"So, did you do any research?" he asked, as I walked in.

"Yes," I replied, pulling out the chair closest to him.

"What did you learn?" he asked.

"Well, there are situations where the acts can be consensual. Usually, people in these types of relationships have some kind of contract or agreement. The submissive or bottoms have safe words that stop the play, if they do not feel like moving on. In all honesty, they are the ones with the power, not the dominant or top," I said, looking over at Carlisle.

"So, far so good; continue," he said, motioning me to continue on with my thoughts.

"There is a good chance I have misjudged the picture thing. They could have depicted some type of violence, but there is a good chance they did not."

"What else?" he asked.

I was puzzled as to what he wanted me to answer with. He sighed when I didn't answer.

"The main thing you should have learned is not to make judgments until you have the facts straight," he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I know," I said, hanging my head.

"You do know that sometimes the lifestyle is not about sex at all right?" he asked.

"I read that, but why does everyone associated it with that?" I asked.

"Personally, I think it's because we have learned about BDSM from that stand point, and the majority of people just assume it to mean sex. However, it's not always about that. You can gain sexual gratification from it, but it doesn't have to be. I know people who visit a Dominatrix just to allow someone to control an hour of their lives, but it's never about an orgasm.

"There are a lot of misconceptions about the lifestyle. Some you have probably considered, but I want to put your mind at ease. One is that the dominant is brainwashing or manipulating his or her submissive into doing something they don't want to or shouldn't. This is why when you come into this lifestyle, you do research, go to play parties or munches to see if this is something you are interested in. There are lists of limits that Doms and Subs fill out when they decide to play together. A lot of preparation is taken beforehand."

"But, what if their lists don't match?" I asked.

"Then they don't play together. It's simple. If you like peanut butter and I don't, I highly doubt I would be willing to take a bite of your peanut butter sandwich. Do you understand that?" he asked.

"Yeah, what are the other misconceptions?" I asked, curiously to see if he answered the other questions I had running around in my head.

"It's not all about pain," he stated.

"Is it?" I asked.

"No, it's like sex. It doesn't have to be there. There are some who like it and some who don't," he shrugged like it really mattered.

"What else?" I asked because so far he was hitting everything I wanted to know about.

"That there isn't a difference between vanilla sex and BDSM sex. There isn't really a difference because sex is intertwined into it sometimes. So, it's not really a vanilla situation. The definitions of intercourse do not change just because someone is tied up. Some people think if one practices that they are avoiding intimacy, but it exists there too."

That's an interesting way to put it. Plus, it wasn't like Heidi and I had never played those games, and we considered ourselves normal or vanilla.

"Some think that people in the lifestyle have all been abused as children and that is why they find themselves there, but that's not always the case. Then there is the misconception that everyone who is involved in the lifestyle has a tendency to go to the extremes. That it's practices can be addictive and can cause self-destruction, but that can also be disproved, and it happens outside the lifestyle as well."

"Isn't it a mental illness?" I asked.

I heard footsteps and looked up and about fell out of my chair. It was Mistress Isa, standing there holding a bowl of food.

"You," she seethed.

"You allow this trash into your house?" she asked, looking directly at Carlisle.

"Isabella," he scolded.

"You will respect me in my own house."

"Yeah, fuck that … this little twerp …" she pointed at me "… rifled through your things, finding private pictures, and then came to my studio to confront me. I have to respect you, but he doesn't like our kind," she seethed.

"I will take care of him, but you need to step out and calm down, before I ask you to leave," Carlisle stated.

She set the food down on the table and stormed out of the house.

"You went to see her?" Carlisle asked, looking over at me.

"Yes," I replied, hanging my head.

"Great!" he replied, as he got out of his chair.

Esme stood there shocked, looking around the room.

"Let me guess that was Bella," I said, knowing how this was going to play out.

"Yes, and you have some explaining to do," she said, sitting beside me.

I told her about finding the pictures and the business card, and how I had went to Mistress Isa's studio. I didn't tell her everything I said, but I did tell her that Mistress Isa and I had words, a rather heated exchange of words.

"Oh Edward," she sighed.

"I need to apologize to her and let her know that I am sorry, that I didn't understand," I said, trying to let Esme know that I had acted foolishly about the pictures.

"Yeah, well that's the thing with Bella, Edward. She's not going to forgive you so easily. She's not going to allow you to move in either. Once you are on her shit list, you never come off."

"I have to try something," I said, almost defeated.

"You are going to apologize, that is a given, but she might not ever want to be around you," she said.

"Bella doesn't trust anyone and doesn't allow anyone into her little bubble willingly. She watches people, learns how they behave, and when she is satisfied that they can be trusted, she allows them in. But with you going to her studio and calling her out, she isn't going to give you the time you will need to earn her trust. Eat your dinner, and when Carlisle comes back, we will discuss your actions," she said, serving me a plate of food. I felt like a little kid in that moment, even though I was twenty-four years old.

I sat and ate my dinner just like Esme wanted. We ate in silence until Carlisle walked in the dining room, running his hands through his hair. A trait all of us Cullen men had in common during a stressful situation.

"What possessed you to go visit her?" he asked, when he sat down at the table.

I told him everything I had told Esme, and how I thought the women in the pictures were being abuse, and how I wanted to find out if they needed help getting out of their situations.

"Edward ..." he sighed "... you are going to have to learn to take a step back sometimes and not go into everything with guns blazing."

"But, I thought I was doing the right thing at the time," I said, defeated.

"I understand that. Really I do, but you have to look, listen, and learn. Sometimes you can gain more knowledge from doing those things instead of running your mouth. It only makes you look stupid, son," he said.

"Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but there isn't anything going on that needs you to play hero. Those women would be upset if they found out you knew this information about them, and in fact, you have placed their jobs in jeopardy just by knowing. They have no guarantee you won't go to their workplaces and tell their employers about things they enjoy outside of work. And, don't give me any bull shit that you won't because you already proved that you act before you think."

"You have also jeopardized Bella's career by making waves for her. She doesn't trust you," Carlisle said.

"Why did you have the pictures to begin with? And, what did she mean when she said 'our kind'?" I asked.

"Esme, Edward and I are going to my office. I will call when I am done eating," he said, picking up his plate.

I stood and followed him to his office.

"Sit," he said, motioning to the chair in front of his desk.

"Your father's not going to like this," he sighed, as he sat down in his chair.

I sat there watching him eat, trying to give him time. I looked around the office and noticed things I hadn't before. I noticed the different pictures, and when you really looked at them, you could see the elements of the lifestyle depicted in them things I hadn't noticed before.

"Ask me?" he said, wiping spaghetti sauce from his chin.

"Are you involved?" I asked because at this point there wasn't any doubt in my mind.

"Yes," he said, looking at me.

"Is Esme involved?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, still looking at me, but not giving me anything else to go on.

"How long?" I asked.

"Before you were born," he said, pushing his plate to the side.

"This is why Dad doesn't like you, isn't it?" I asked, finally learning the family secret.

"Yes …" he paused and I hoped he would tell me more "... there's more than you are aware of, and a lot of the reason is because he too made judgments before learning the real truth."

Carlisle launched into his tale of what actually happened between him and my father. By the end of his story, I was disgusted at my father's actions. To think he would sit back and let people beat up his own brother just because he didn't like his way of life was appalling. How could anyone do something like that? Especially to family, I could never be that damn despicable. I could see the hurt in Carlisle's eyes as he told me, and I knew that I had to make my father see that it wasn't a bad situation, just a personal preference. But, I had to find these things out for myself before I could convince my father.

I left Carlisle's office, determined to learn more about the lifestyle, and if research was something I had to do, then I would. When I finally returned to my room, I pulled out my iPhone and looked for the community information in our area. I wanted to see what happens first hand, and from the research I had done earlier, it suggested going to clubs that specialize in that kind of entertainment. So, within a matter of minutes, I knew my next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay … we have seen Edward researching all the things we need to know about the community or lifestyle. And, we learned about his conversation with Carlisle. Now we need to find out how Edward finds himself being Bella's submissive. Do you think she should forgive him? Or, has Edward been a bad boy and deserves his just punishment?


	6. Apologies, Domination and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> I would love to thank the wonderful women who help me. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But, remember we are not perfect and even though six eyes are better than two, we are human and make mistakes. So, thanks to my beta(s) on this chapter: dannibags, piesmom
> 
> I would like to apologize for the late installment. I have been terribly busy writing stories for the More Is More Contest, Dirty Talkin' Edward Contest and putting together a couple of compilations. Don't forget to follow here or you can find me on Facebook at www dot facebook dot .319. Hopefully once everything settles down, I will be back to the once a month schedule. Please bear with me because your support is greatly appreciated.

Chapter 6

Apologies, Domination and Confessions

BPOV

It took a couple of days for things to get back to normal around me. I was constantly on guard when it came to my studio and figured that Edward Cullen would be making an appearance any day now to either apologize or start some more shit. I knew Esme would want him to apologize for his actions, but I wasn't too sure about him not wanting to bash my lifestyle again.

Carlisle and Edward had talked and discussed things, but I never asked how things went or what was explained. I felt so bad for losing my temper with Carlisle. I respected him and shouldn't have been like that, but when I saw Edward, every ounce of respect I had just flew out the window. I apologized to Carlisle for my outburst in his house, hoping he would let me know if Edward had plans on coming back to my studio, but it wasn't like he knew about the first time around.

Carlisle's discussion with Edward wasn't my biggest worry at the moment. What puzzled me was why I had never heard the true story about Esme and Carlisle. I kind of understood why they wouldn't tell me when I was younger, when they first started hanging out with my parents. Then when I joined the lifestyle, why didn't they say something then? During my training with them, you would have figured how they became active or what lead them to be together would have come up. However, it hadn't and even with me being in the lifestyle for two years and a member of the board at the local club, nothing had even been said about it. Curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to know, so I was looking forward to lunch on Sunday.

Angela was back from her honeymoon right after the confrontation at the Cullen's. I was thankful for her; she always made everything around the studio run more efficiently, allowing me to worry about other things like my personal life. She was absolutely glowing from their trip, and I was jealous of the fact she had gotten time away when I so desperately need it, especially with him around.

I was at the studio wrapping up a few odds and ends, trying not to think about Edward, when Angela asked to leave early for a doctor's appointment. I didn't mind and finished up the last minute details and closed down to go home.

While locking the door, a light reflected off the studio's glass doors. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a Silver Aston Martin and the bane of my existence walking towards me. I gritted my teeth, knowing he would be coming sooner than later.

"Bella, I need to talk to you for a minute," he said, getting closer. I didn't answer him back and briskly walked toward my car, trying to avoid him at all costs.

"Bella, please let me talk to you," he said, right behind me. I wasn't about to talk to him and hear his nonsense about the how I chose to live.

When I had almost reached the driver's side of my BMW, he rushed around me and stood in front of my door, not allowing me into my car.

"What do you want?" I asked, miffed that he would keep me from leaving.

"I just want a couple of minutes of your time to talk to you about some things," he said, running his hands through his hair.

"If you are here to bash my lifestyle, you will have to wait until I have a lawyer present. I will not be subjected to your narrow mindedness nor will I be accused of doing something I have not," I said, backing up from the car and him.

"I've come to apologize to you," he said with his head down. He wasn't even showing one sign of actually meaning those words. Esme had sent him, and he thought that would be enough; a half assed apology. I walked around the car determined to get in through the passenger side since he was blocking the driver side. He opened the door and engaged the locks. I clicked my remote and unlocked them again, but before I could even open the door, he had locked it once again.

"Stop doing that," I screamed. He was getting on my nerves.

"Tell me when you first learned about the lifestyle and community that you didn't have your own misconceptions. If you can tell me you didn't have any misconceptions, I will allow you to get in your vehicle and leave, never having to see me again."

"Like that would ever happen," I sighed because there was no way I would never see him again. If I went back to Carlisle and Esme's, he was sure to be there.

"Look, I didn't mean what I said. I had made terrible assumptions and should have waited to talk to Carlisle, but I didn't and for that I am sorry," he said, looking into my eyes. It was at that moment that I looked straight into the eyes of the submissive that haunted and taunted my dreams. I stood there mesmerized by his eyes. I could see the honesty in them, knowing he wasn't faking and it wasn't Esme that sent him.

"Bella," he said. I spaced out for a moment, shutting my eyes, getting lost in my dreams, all the ones I could remember vividly. I jumped when I felt his hand touch my arm; I looked back into the greenest eyes I had ever seen.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked.

"Sure … hum … look, I had misconceptions. It's hard not to live life and not wonder or have heard things about the lifestyle. But for what it's worth, I forgive you," I assured.

"Thank you," he said. He didn't move and his hand never left my arm. In fact, his fingers began to lightly stroke the skin on my arm.

"So warm," he whispered.

"What?"

"Your arm is warm … Heidi's upper arms were always so cold." He didn't stop stroking and I didn't know who this Heidi was, but his touch was mesmerizing, just like his eyes. I began to wonder if Heidi was his girlfriend. Or was she his sister? Hell, why did I care?

"Yeah well, I have to get going," I said, backing away from his touch because if I continued to allow him to touch me, I knew I would never be able to pull away. I watched as he looked shocked and confused.

"How did you do that?" he asked, rubbing the tips of his fingers.

"I didn't do anything," I replied. I hadn't done anything when I backed away from him.

"You shocked me. How? Why?" He looked confused, still rubbing his finger tips together.

"I don't know. I didn't do anything," I cried. I was getting frustrated with him accusing me of doing something I didn't even do.

"I believe you didn't do anything. It was just weird," he said, holding up his hands, showing that he didn't mean anything by it.

"I'll see you later," I said, getting into my car and getting away from the one man that I knew in my heart would be the death of me. Those eyes were already becoming a permanent fixture in my dreams, and my whole being yearned for his actual touch, not one that was desired by my subconscious.

"See ya," he called as I shut my door. I watched as he quickly walked over to his car and climbed inside. I didn't move and neither did he. He sat there for a few minutes and looked at his hands over and over. I, on the other hand, watched his every move and wanted to know more about the man sitting across the street in his car.

Eventually, he started his car and looked right at me before he pulled out into traffic. I wish he hadn't seen me watching, but it was how I learned more about people. Shaking my thoughts away and off the green eyes that held me captive at night, I pulled out into traffic myself and headed home for my night with the Whitlock's.

~MLML~

My night with the Whitlock's promised to be interesting. Jasper and Alice had finally worked up to Jasper being more dominant and controlling the whole aspect of their play while he was here. I would allow him to construct the scenes and tell me what he felt they needed to work on with his dominant journals. I would usually receive both journal entries an hour or so before they were scheduled to see me. It wouldn't be too much longer before they would be free to move on their own and enjoy their D/s relationship, without the watchful eye of me. I really didn't want to part with them because there were aspects of their play that fulfilled the teacher inside of me.

Each client provides me with a certain level of satisfaction; the Whitlock's had the knowledge. They were both experienced in the lifestyle and knew what each role was and how to fulfill those expectations; however, switching roles caused their major issues.

Quickly pulling on my leather pants, knee high boots, and black corset into place, loving how it hugged my body. The leather felt so exquisite on my skin and brought out the strong woman and dominatrix I needed to be for my clients. I wrapped my hair into a tight bun and applied the red lipstick that set off my look.

My laptop loaded the couple's journals as I waited for them to arrive. I scrolled and skimmed over Jasper's purposed scene tonight and approved with no major adjustments. Tonight's events seemed to be the basic tie up and tease, still working on finding what worked for them. Alice was doing really well with her submission and had done better than I thought I could ever do. Allowing someone to tie me up was one thing, but to allow them total control over the whole scene was another for me. I loved being the one in control and didn't hand it over easily.

Jasper was still struggling with gaining his inner dominant and forcing Alice to do things. When I first met the couple and started working with him, I figured Alice would be the hardest of the pair because of the Dom in her and having her hand over the controls to someone she played with regularly as a submissive, but I was shocked when it was him.

The doorbell broke me from my thoughts. As I walked toward the door, I dimmed the lights for tonight; I always did for my clients. I looked in the mirror next to the door and check to make sure every hair was still in place. When I was satisfied with my look, I opened the door for the Whitlock's.

"Good evening," Jasper greeted as he allowed Alice to walk in front of him. This would be the only time tonight she would do so.

"Jasper … Alice," I greeted as I closed the door behind them. Alice knew the routine in my house. When a submissive entered, they were to disrobe and kneel once the door was shut, and with her, she would wait for instructions from Jasper. I was just the supervisor of sorts here.

"Alice," he said softly. I raised my eyebrows at him, wanting him to exert more demanding into his voice to gather her attention. Alice did well, too. She didn't respond because he hadn't given her instructions yet and still had her head down, showing respect to both of us.

"Alice ..." he said again, a little stronger and more to my liking "... go up stairs and wait by the door, kneeling while Mistress Isa and I discuss my plans for the night," he demanded. Alice arose with her head still down and moved toward the staircase.

Jasper and I walked to the dining room to discuss his plans and to talk about anything that had concerned them during the week. During their week, they would play once in these same roles they would play tonight, and according to them, it was still undetermined whether or not this role would continue.

"So, it seems this week's session went well," I said, sitting down in front of my computer looking over what he had written in his journal.

"We did well. The only problem was Alice wanted to try and take over when I couldn't bring myself to punish her."

"Well, do you have any solutions?" I asked.

"When I wrote my entry yesterday, I wanted to tie her up and torture her a little. See if I could control myself …" he smiled broadly "… but I need to modify that a little. I was thinking about adding a gag to keep her from talking and trying to tell me what to do."

"I think a ball gag would be a great add to your scene tonight," I said.

"Okay good. I was worried you would want me to punish her every time she acted out or spoke out of turn."

"Well, that is up to Alice and you really. You have to set the rules, Jasper. What I would do probably wouldn't be the same for you or her, for that matter. It's something you will have to work on as a couple."

"Alice doesn't like a lot of pain, and to tell you the truth, I don't know if I have the heart to strike her. I mean, I can strike her with a riding crop or flogger, but the thoughts of marring her beautiful skin causes me great distress."

I nodded. I understood not everyone in our lifestyle was out to cause pain or receive pain. It was something the both of them would have to agree upon, and Alice had set rules for him to follow as a submissive. He had been dragging his feet on setting his own rules, causing her to insert her opinions.

It didn't take us long to wrap things up and head toward my playroom. Alice was waiting patiently for us to arrive as Jasper had instructed

.

"Alice, crawl into the play room and wait in front of the bed," he instructed. Alice did as he asked, and I watched from the door of the playroom. She crawled over and knelt in front of the bed with her head down, patiently awaiting instructions from her Master. Jasper headed over to the cabinets where I kept the equipment and pulled out a ball gag for Alice.

"During our play date this week, Alice, I didn't know how to instruct you, you spoke out and told me what to do. As much as I appreciate your assistance, you were supposed to be my submissive and to remain quiet. So, until we can work out a better rules system, you will be wearing a ball gag. Open up so I can place it in your mouth," Jasper commanded, standing over Alice's body. Alice opened her mouth, and Jasper quickly placed the ball in her mouth and wrapped the straps around her head to secure.

"Stand," Jasper demanded. Alice stood, and Jasper led her over to the wall that housed the St. Andrew's cross. I walked over to the chair I had in the room and sat to observe the pair in front of me. I tried to let Jasper control as much as possible and only intervene when I felt like I had to.

Jasper spun Alice around and placed her facing the cross, where he strapped her hands above her head. He knelt down behind her and hooked the shackles to her ankles. Once he checked the restrains, he pulled the bell out of his pocket, handing it to Alice.

"Nod your head if you understand my instructions," Jasper demanded as Alice nodded her head.

It was the standard protocol for a gagged submissive, Alice would only ring the bell once for red and twice to safe word. Colors would be checked with a nod or a shake of the head, nod for green and a shake for yellow.

As the scene unfolded in front of me, my primary focus was on Alice, trying to read her clues and changes in her body and posture; the things Jasper also needed to look for. It was my ultimate job to keep the scene moving and safe.

Everything was moving well, and Jasper had really taken the lead in commanding Alice's body. However, he was missing clues left and right. I needed to draw his attention to her without making me his dominant; this was the area Jasper would fail at every time. If I said something, he would listen explicitly, without even questioning my judgment. I wondered if undermining his judgment would work, piss him off just enough that I had intruded in on their scene to make him look or think. I gave him a few more minutes to see the clues in Alice's body, letting him know she was enjoying the taps he was giving her, but he still missed them.

With my mind made up, I walked over to the couple, keeping my mouth shut because if I commanded, he would follow. I stroked Alice's arms, alerting her to my presence. Using gentle strokes, I ran my fingers up to her ball gag and unfastened it, allowing Alice a voice. I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Don't say a word. Understand?" Alice nodded. I didn't want her to speak or guide Jasper in any way.

Jasper watched me, getting madder by the minute. I had removed the one thing keeping Alice from giving him direction, but he wasn't watching her body for clues; so something had to be done. I grabbed the riding crop from his hands, totally disrespecting his dominant of his submissive.

"Why did you do that? This is my scene … you're not her top," Jasper seethed.

I didn't respond and used the riding crop on Alice's body, watching as her back arch when I would strike certain areas of her body. I used the riding crop to gently glide down the inside of her thighs, lightly tapping her sex as my crop did my bidding.

"What the hell?" Jasper roared behind me.

"Tell me what you were doing wrong," I demanded.

"Nothing, the scene was going according to my plans," Jasper retorted.

"Wrong, try again. You were missing things, what were they? What should you have been doing?" I asked, still using the riding crop on Alice. I was watching her clues and reading her body, following where she wanted it next.

"I … I wasn't missing anything," Jasper stated.

"You don't sound so confident," I said, still playing Alice like a fiddle right before his eyes.

"Alice, you are following my instructions now. I want to hear how this riding crop makes you feel without words. Can you do that for me? Nod if you understand." Alice's head nodded, and I added a little more force to my strikes, but nothing that would hurt her. Alice didn't like pain, and I respected that.

However, I would lightly drag my crop between her thighs and down the undersides of her breast, eliciting a moan from her lips. The adrenaline and endorphins in her system were heightened, causing her pleasure from the things I was doing to her body. Jasper could have gotten her to this point, if he would have been watching the clues of her body. The way her ass would shove out a little more when he would stroke her with the riding crop, closer to her ass without hitting it like she was begging for him to do. When he would drag the riding crop between her thighs, she would spread them wider in anticipation of a light tap to her sex, but he wouldn't deliver. He wasn't drawing out her pleasure; he was just using the riding crop in the appropriate areas without letting her be fulfilled in the process.

"Jasper … look at Alice, listen to her moans. She's loving this, but you could have had that too, if you would have been watching her body closer. I understand teasing her, but you have to give a little and then take a little. Build her body up, and the other areas will be more stimulated because of the hormones running through her body. Stroking her knees with the riding crop isn't going to bring pleasure, but if you build her body up properly then it will be more. Do you understand?" I asked because I wanted him to see what he could do. He was in complete control of what she received, and when she wanted more, he could give or take. Giving into her would increase her pleasure and heighten her want, not allowing her to receive the pleasure would amp up her anticipation, making other areas of her body vibrate with need. It was the game I always played until they were practically begging for it, yearning for me to do something.

I handed the riding crop back to Jasper and allowed him to take over once again. I stood back against the door and watched the couple. Jasper was working her just like I had instructed, allowing her to have some things, but not everything and with that, her moans became louder.

The louder Alice got, the more I wished I had green eyes here to do with as I wished. I slipped from the room when the scene was over and waited for them outside the playroom doors. Once everything was put back in its place and Alice was dressed again, the pair left. I knew by the look in both of their eyes that tonight would be a good night for them as a couple, and my heart wanted that more than anything.

~MLML~

The remainder of the week was great; Edward had come to the studio and apologized, so I didn't have to worry about him showing up on my doorstep. However, a part of me wanted to see his green eyes again. If only he didn't have such negative feelings toward the lifestyle.

Sunday rolled around, and I closed the shop early to have lunch with Esme. I arrived a few minutes early and watched as she entered the small little cafe. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and she always lit up a room when she entered. She made her way over to the table and greeted me before she sat down.

"So, how was your week?" she asked as she placed her purse beside her and unfolded the napkin across her lap, always the lady in every situation.

"Good." I chuckled. I always found it fun that she had mannerisms from an older era and definitely older than her.

"Edward said he spoke to you this week," she said, looking over the menu.

"He did, and he apologized. So, everything is okay," I sighed.

"He still needs a place to stay, Bella," Esme said, looking over her menu at me with pleading eyes.

"Fine, but it doesn't mean I like him now, and we're best friends," I complained.

"I wouldn't assume that, Isabella, you know me. I think he should have behaved like a gentleman, just like you should behave like a lady, but … know this, he is curious and wanting to learn," Esme said, winking and ducking her head behind her menu.

"You have some explaining to do," I said, picking up my own menu. If she was going to hide behind her's, I was planning on hiding behind mine too.

"Yes, it seems I do, but let's order and get everything settled before we tackle that issue," she sighed. The next few minutes were spent in silence until the waitress came and took our orders. Esme chatted about the house and getting Edward settled as quickly as humanly possible. Apparently, she was in desperate need of some alone time with her Master, and I giggled at she went on about the things she was missing out on while Edward was there.

Once the food was delivered and the waitress was gone, Esme sighed and dug into her meal.

"I was married before I met Carlisle, and he was the reason I was out when they had Carlisle that night. Let me warn you, my past wasn't pretty, and I don't like to discuss it, but my never saying anything didn't have anything to do with the lifestyle or you. It's something that is very hard for me to talk about because of the frame of mind I was in then," Esme sighed.

"I married Riley Biers. I thought I was in love, happy, and only needed Riley." Esme stopped talking when the waitress walked over and asked if we needed anything more to drink and left quickly. When she was gone, Esme cleared her throat and continued.

"I was a freshman in college when I met Riley. He was a senior and totally charismatic. We dated his entire senior year, and when he graduated, landing a job at a law firm, he asked me to marry him. I hadn't finished school yet, but had just found out I was pregnant, and so I married him." Esme wiped a few tears from her eyes with her napkin.

"The first couple of months were great and things were going well. Until he started working overtime and trying to get established in the firm, then things changed. He wasn't coming home, and when he would, he was very hateful, rude, and downright disrespectful." Her tears increased, and I knew we were getting to a part I wasn't going to like. I reached out and grabbed her hand, hoping this would help her through it.

"I decided to leave him. I couldn't live my life that way, and with a child coming into the world, I knew it wasn't a healthy environment. I called my parents and told them I was coming home. They weren't happy, but were willing to help me. However, before I could even get to the bus station to head home, Riley found me," Esme sobbed.

"He beat me for trying to leave, for trying to take his child away from him, and for not being the wife I should have been and standing beside him. That night I started bleeding from the beatings, and when Riley drove me to the hospital, he apologized repeatedly. He knew what he had done, but that wasn't the worst thing. The beating I could take, but what happened at the hospital was what caused my final spiral.

"At the hospital, Riley told them I had fallen down a flight of stairs, explaining away my bruises and bumps. That night I lost our child, but it didn't matter because after the way Riley had lied to cover his ass, and when my parents came, they believed him over me. I was done with my life."

Esme pushed her plate back, and I could see the tension in her shoulders. It was like she was reliving everything she had been through just by telling me her story. My heart was breaking, and I hoped that things hadn't gotten worse for her, but I couldn't imagine losing a child or the despair she must have felt in that situation.

"After I was released from the hospital, Riley took me home. I sat for days, staring out the window lost, hurt, and all alone. I called my parents, begging them to help me out of my marriage, but they told me I was being childish and needed to stay. So, one night after Riley called to tell me he wouldn't be home until late, I walked out the door and to the closest park. I knew the only way I would be away from him was if I died because he had promised he would always find me and bring me home. I don't know why he wanted me so bad, but wasn't willing to improve on his behavior or even make an attempt to be home more.

The park had a cliff at the end that was engulfed below by the ocean, and I knew that if I jumped off it, the odds of me surviving would be slim to none. I was happy with those odd."

"Oh, my God … Esme," I cried. I hated that things had gotten that bad for her to think that the only way out was to end your life was tragic.

"You have to understand my state of mind; I was depressed from the hormones coursing through my body because of the pregnancy, the lost of a child, the betrayal of both my parents and Riley. I was a mess and needed help to overcome the situation I was in, but no one was willing to help or even take the time to figure out a solution. Riley had put on a good show at the hospital and had my parents thinking I was a childish brat because I was still young. I had quit school to be a mother and had nothing. Shows how much they really cared. I had nothing else to live for … no one else to believe me … and I was still devastated over the loss of my child. I wanted that baby more than anything." Esme's tears streamed down her face as did mine, but I knew we had to be closer to the end. She was still here, so Carlisle must have also been her savior that night.

Esme wiped at her tear stained face and blew her nose. Then she straightened herself out and continued.

"I was standing at the edge of the cliff about to jump when I heard a commotion. I backed away from the edge and slowly walked to where the noise was coming from. I hide behind a tree and watched a group of people beating a man who was tied to the tree. I had to cover my mouth to keep from crying out to stop or scream. I was scared to move or make a noise, thinking I was next."

A fresh new batch of tears streamed down her face.

"When the group of men finally left and I could hear their vehicles leaving in the distance, I made my way over to the beaten man. I don't know why I went, but something about him, laying on the ground covered in mud and blood caused me to move. I crouched next to him. He was beaten so bad, his left eye was swollen shut, but he opened his right eye and the bluest eyes looked right at me … right through me."

"Carlisle would say I was his angel that night, but the truth be known, he was mine." Esme smiled for the first time during her story.

"I cleaned him up the best I could and cared for him. I told him about Riley right away, and before the morning sun could rise, Carlisle and I left Chicago."

"Wow," I said.

"The rest they say is history. Carlisle and I have been together ever since. I never left his side, and he never left mine. I learned how to be what he needed, and he learned to be what I needed. I got help, and he listened. When the time was right, we were married." Esme smiled once again, and I knew everything was the same.

"Did you ever get divorced from Riley?" I asked because she hadn't mentioned anything about it.

"Carlisle ... Aro take care of it. I didn't have to reallly do anything. Honestly, I think Aro might have sent Felix over there to rough him up a little, but I don't know. The only thing that matter was his signature."

"Why didn't Carlisle and you ever have kids?"

"After my pregnancy, I had to have a complete hysterectomy … which is another issue that led to my depression. I never said anything about my past because that is what it was ... my past, and I had to get over it as best as I could so I could move forward into the future. I will never forget it; it will be with me the rest of my life. But, it's not something I wish to dwell on; it happened during the weakest moment in my life."

"Esme," I cried, standing up and pulling her into a hug. All the things she had been through and I felt her emotions the entire time. I could see why she wouldn't tell me about her past because it showed how low she had gotten at one point of her life and showed weakness; something Esme didn't like to show. She always had a strong sense of herself, and now that I know the back-story, I would say Carlisle was the reason she did. He had built her up and made her stronger in her weakest moment in her life.

I pulled back from our embrace and looked into the beautiful hazel eyes of Esme.

"I was so worried when your parents died that you would find yourself in the same situation I had. I couldn't let you do that to yourself, and they wouldn't have wanted you to do that. I know what it feels like to have nothing in this world, and I know what it feels like to have it all. I wanted better for you and didn't want you to feel that level of despair that I had. That's why Carlisle and I pushed you and took care of you at your weakest moment. I love you, Isabella," she said with renewed tears, brushing the strains of my hair behind my ear, and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

After our hug, we quickly packed our things and left the café, I headed back to work, and Esme went to tell Edward the good news about the house.

Back at work, I thought about what Esme had said at the beginning of our lunch about Edward. I wondered just how curious he was about the lifestyle. How far would Edward's curiosity lead him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay … another chapter. Edward apologized, and I wonder just how curious the lad will be? Guess you will have to come back for another chapter to see what he gets himself into then. Esme's past was interesting and heartbreaking, but glad to see Carlisle was her salvation too. Alice and Jasper are coming along brilliantly and soon will be out of the picture … maybe. Dont' forget to check out my latest additions … Talk Dirty To Me, Quattro Amore, and the futuretake for The Perfect Submissive


	7. Getting Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been awhile since the last time this story was updated. I have been a very busy woman. I won't get into what I have been up to. Just check out my facebook page or fanfiction profile, and you will see the new stories.
> 
> In the previous chapter, Edward apologized to Bella, and Esme shared her heart breaking story. So, now we get to find out what Edward is planning, and trust me, he is so interested that he can't stand himself. However, will he like what he finds?

Chapter 7

Come Together

EPOV

Life had gotten way out of hand for me. Things had picked up in the office, and I wasn't getting as much research done as I would have hoped. However, I had a brilliant idea on how to speed up my research. I had overheard Carlisle telling Esme that they would be enjoying some play time soon because of the 'play party' scheduled at the end of the month. I really didn't mean to be so sneaky about things, and technically, I shouldn't have listened to their conversation, but with the words 'play party,' I was instantly intrigued.

Trying to find a moment to get Carlisle alone and ask him about going wasn't working out so well. Our schedules were crazy, and we were never at home at the same time. I could have gone to Esme because out of the two of us, she could have talked to him, but I was scared I would get her in trouble for asking. I didn't know how they worked their relationship together as a Dom/sub; so I didn't want to make any waves. It didn't matter though because a couple of days after hearing about the party, Esme had lunch with Bella, and I was officially allowed to move into her house.

The days that followed, I spent working and getting things from the storage unit I had rented for my stuff from Chicago and moved to Bella's old house. I liked the house. It was rather nice. It wasn't the biggest house on the block, but it would do for a bachelor like myself. I stood in the middle of the house, trying to decide where all the boxes went when Esme walked up beside me.

"I'm going to head out Edward," she said, dusting her hands on her pants. She had helped me bring in all the things from the PODs storage unit I had rented two days prior to hold all my things until I could get out here.

"I appreciate everything you and Carlisle have done for me."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," she said, pulling me into a hug.

"Oh, before I forget, Bella has a couple of boxes in the attics. It's stuff she either forgot to take with her to her house or stuff she couldn't take. I hope that won't be a problem. If it is, just let me know, and I will make sure to get it to her."

"No, no … no problem. I don't even know if I will be using the attic yet. Plus, she was gracious enough to allow me to stay here despite everything," I said.

Esme left, and I quickly got to work around the house. I was half way through when the nagging thoughts about the Bella's things in the attic kept calling to me. I wanted to know what was in there. Was it stuff from her childhood? Was it stuff of her parents? Curiosity was getting the best of me, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I knew it was wrong to look through her things, but like everything else regarding Bella and my move to Seattle, I couldn't help it. I wanted to unlock the mysteries that keep falling into my lap. I walked into the hall and pulled the rope hanging from the ceiling, pulling open the door that lead to the mysteries of the Swan. Quickly, I pulled down the ladder and climbed up. The attic was like another attic in a house; dusty with the smell of old my mother would call that a funky smells, but old nevertheless.

Moving a couple of things out of my way, I saw a pair of boxes in the corner. My heart beat out of my chest for some odd unknown reason. It wasn't like anything in those boxes belonged to me, but they could be the gateway into the soul I was dying to know more about.

I spotted a place to sit and pulled the first box to me. Gently, I wiped the dust from the lid and pulled back the flaps to look inside. There were pictures, dozens of pictures. Some were pictures of scenery, some of people, and some of Bella. The pictures of Bella were self portraits, it looked like; close up shots that made me chuckle. There were pictures of Bella with what looked to be her parents. She looked like her mother, but had her father's eyes. However, I could still see things about him in her. I placed the pictures back in the box, not wanting to touch them too much, afraid that I would ruin them somehow.

There was a blanket that looked to be made of shirts that one would collect while visiting around the United States like 'The Largest Ball of Twine' in Cawker City, Kansas and 'London Bridge' in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. There were many … many more to make the quilt so unique. I wondered what the story was behind this old quilt. Under the blanket were several different types of cameras, and somethings I had learned that was all Bella, a Polaroid camera that I hadn't seen in ages, a little camera that took that long type film, and a thirty-five millimeter camera. All were really outdated, and the reason I figured they made it into the box. I placed everything back in the box and slide it back in it's spot.

Grabbing the other box, I slide it over to me, and once again, I lightly dusted off the lid before I opened. Inside the box were several journals. Looking at the journals, they looked like nothing special on the outside. I turned the journals over in my hands, trying to find something that might tell me what was in them, but couldn't find anything. I took a deep breath and pulled the strings that held it closed. I didn't know what it would hold on the inside, but I secretly prayed it was something that would tell me more about the woman who still starred in all my dreams.

Pulling back the covers, nothing seemed to call to me. The first page was totally blank. Quickly, I flipped to the second and began to read the first couple of paragraphs.

First Play Party

My first play party was both scary and interesting all the same time. My Master led me into the house with the rules of not touching anyone. I could watch all I wanted and that pleased me greatly.

Each room had different things going on, and asking me to choose was a tough decision. I wanted to watch the rope with the male dominant and female submissive, but when you mentioned the female dominant with a male, I chose that first, no matter what they were doing. I hadn't said much the last couple of times we worked together, but after watching them … I know that I no longer wanted to be a submissive.

I thought I knew when I took my first BDSM photo that day in your playroom, but now that I have seen how it can be … I wanted that control. I want that power to make someone bend to one's mercy. I want to learn … I yearn to know more.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, skimming the next paragraph before I closed the book. I didn't know how much more I could read because she started to describe the scene and the things she found intriguing about the couple she watched. Just the way she explained the scene had me harder than steel. There was no way I was sliding off to the attic when I needed relief.

Throwing the journal back into the box, I grabbed it and decided to take it down stairs. Maybe reading her journals would inspire me; maybe I would learn more about the lifestyle. Not to mention if I had the journals downstairs, the next time I got turned on about a paragraph I could take care of it fairly easy.

~MLML~

It took me four days after I moved into Bella's house to learn some rather intriguing news. The first was that Carlisle had been Bella's Master in all the journals I had been reading like the Seattle Times. That threw me for a fucking loop at first, but I quickly recovered. The second was that Carlisle wouldn't allow me to go to the 'play party' unless I had first went to a 'munch'. Which I thought was completely wrong, but when he explained that Munches were more like a get together, a meeting of like minded individuals, I jumped at the chance. However, jumping at the chance didn't mean Carlisle was going to condone me going; no … he wanted to stay out of it. He would answer any questions I had, and try to explain the etiology of the lifestyle, but there was no way in hell he was going to take me.

Stilling in the kitchen sulking like a baby, I knew it was wrong as I sat across from Esme. She had asked me to stop by, and it just so happen that Carlisle was home, so I asked him about the party. I sighed again, knowing I was about to do something I shouldn't, but I wanted in. I wanted to know.

"Edward," she said, stopping what she was doing. Carlisle was still in his study and wouldn't know what I was about to ask. I sighed again, playing on her sympathizes.

"Stop sighing and tell me what has crawled up your ass," she said, putting the pot on the stove. Thank fuck she asked, I didn't want to bring the subject up unless she asked.

"I want to go to a play party," I said, looking into her eyes.

"Carlisle said he wouldn't invite me and that I really needed to attend a 'munch' first, but he wasn't going to take me there either," I complained.

"You know his reasons for not doing so. It hasn't anything to do with your curiosity about the lifestyle, and more with your father. I think he would officially have your Uncle's balls if he were to find out," she mused.

"I understand that aspect, but why can't he get Bella to take me or even one of his friends," I ranted.

It was her turn to sigh. "Edward … he could still be implicated if something went wrong and Ed found out. Hell, even if you get involved without Carlisle's knowledge, he would still be pissed at him."

"I know and that's the fucked up part. I wanted to know … you don't know how bad I wanted this. How long I have yearned for something like this in my life? I have dreams about being dominated … dreams about pleasing my Mistress … you don't know how much I think about different aspects of the lifestyle, Esme. I want it so bad I can taste it." I rambled.

"I'm sure I have an idea," she said smiling, pouring spaghetti sauce into the pot on the stove.

"I've been reading Bella's journals," I blurted. I hadn't wanted to admit that I had gone through her things in the attic, but I knew Esme wouldn't betray me and tell Bella. She would want me to tell her all on my own. Esme didn't say anything. Actually she smirked, as she brought the spoon to her lips to taste the sauce.

"God, the things in her journal …" I wiped my brow for emphases "… they arouse me, intrigue me, and call to me … all of them. I want it … I want the whole thing." I knew I was being a little dramatic, but I wanted Esme to get the point and to help me in some small way. I knew I couldn't go to Bella, and I still didn't have that many contacts in the area. How else was I supposed to get involved in the scene?

She placed the spoon on the stovetop and wiped her hands on her apron. Then she walked over to her purse that was sitting on the counter and pulled out a card.

"This is our lawyer. He very well known in the community … talk to him."

Esme handed me the card and walked back over to the stove. I was grateful she had giving me something to find my way, hopefully. I stood from my stool at the island and walked over to her. I pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome … but if anyone asks, you are going to see him over a case at work. Don't mention a word about this to anyone." She looked at me sternly. I quickly nodded; I wasn't going to say a damn thing to anyone as long as it got me in the door.

I gathered my things and was about ready to leave when Esme stopped me. "Edward …" I stopped in my tracks and looked over toward her "… not staying for dinner?" she asked.

"No," I replied.

"Make good use of that card because it won't happen again, and Carlisle will know I gave that to you. I don't keep things from my Master," she said with a wink. I nodded and left the house, ready to make the call.

It was all I could think about on the way home, but it was too late to call Aro Volturi about the invitation, instead I lost myself in another entry.

~MLML~

The following morning after court, I called Aro Volturi's office to schedule an appointment. I didn't want to tell his receptionist the nature of my call, so scheduling an appointment made the best sense to me. I was in a hurry to speak to him and asked that the appointment be quickly, thinking it would be weeks before I got into see him. He was one of the best attorney's in Seattle. However, when I gave my name to the receptionist, she quickly scheduled me an appointment for this afternoon. I cleared my schedule with my supervisor and was heading to a lunch meeting with him.

Stepping into Metropolitan Grill, I knew my life was about to change, and I prayed it was for the better. The hostess led me over to the table that Mr. Volturi sat at. I quickly introduced myself and sat down.

"You're very lucky you are the nephew of Carlisle," he said, looking at his menu.

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice," I replied, not knowing how to really respond to his previous statement.

"If it wasn't for Carlisle calling, I wouldn't have seen you for a while. I'm a very busy man, Mr. Cullen, and I don't have time for haters or first timers. I trust you are very serious about this. I don't want trouble within my community here," he said, looking right in my eyes.

"I'm serious … very serious. I'm not like my father, no matter what you have been told about him."

"Good, because I actually agree with your uncle about having you come to a 'munch' first. They are strictly a get together where people like us can talk and get to know one another. And, better for someone just entering the lifestyle."

"I will do anything at this point. I don't care how I get there. I just want to be involved," I said, still looking over my menu and waiting for the waitress to come any minute.

"Tonight at seven, come to Eclipse. We are having our monthly munch there. You will learn more about the lifestyle and be able to talk to others before jumping in head first."

"I would like that," I replied smiling as the waitress finally made her way over to us. Both Aro and I ordered something to eat, and when the waitress disappeared into the kitchen, Aro continued.

"You are aware that there is secrecy to the lifestyle, and you will probably see people you wouldn't expect in this lifestyle."

"Yes, I don't have a problem signing a non-disclosure form," I said, looking straight into his eyes. I didn't want him to think I wasn't serious about this, and I could keep my mouth shut no matter what anyone said.

"Good because you will be signing one. How you behave tonight … how you behave when it comes to the information you will be granted tonight will determine whether or not I extend an invitation to the play party at the end of the month." I nodded.

"You also have to provide us with your personal information and membership fee to the club. Otherwise, you will not be permitted tonight. I will give the information to the door man, and he will have a card waiting for you," Aro said, reaching down under the table and pulling out a form for me to fill out.

I quickly answered the questions and handed the paper back to him. He looked it over before shoving it into what I assumed was his brief case under the table. I reached into my pocket and pulled at the thirty dollars it would cost for one year's membership and quickly paid him. Now, it was just a matter of me behaving myself and getting the invite to the play party.

When our food arrived, Aro asked about my job and how things at were going being new in the community. Working as a Child Support Enforcement Worker had it's up and downs so to speak. Every Wednesday, I was in court all day, but I did have a couple of times where I didn't have to. We didn't talk any more about the lifestyle. I asked Aro his specialty, wondering if I would ever have to deal with him in the courtroom. Aro said he was into business law and wouldn't be handling a child support case anytime soon.

Once lunch was over, Aro and I were about to part ways when he stopped me.

"No trouble, and I mean it. I know all about Isabella's issues with you, but Carlisle doesn't think you are a bad seed, just misinformed. I hope that is the case."

"You won't have a problem with me, and yeah, I was misinformed and spoke to the wrong person about it. It will never happen again, and I have apologized to Bella for making those assumptions."

"Good. If things go well, I will send your invitation to your house before it's time." He patted me on the shoulder and headed out into the street. I crossed my fingers and hoped that things would go well tonight.

I climbed into my car and headed off to the library to do a little more research on the lifestyle. I hadn't been able to look into it more, and I was hoping with the rest of the day off, I could get the information I needed before I looked like a prick at the meeting tonight.

~MLML~

Wheeling up at Eclipse was a little surreal. I had been by this place several times and would have never guessed it was a club for the community. It looked like a rundown dump. The paint was faded and chipping of the side of the building and it had graffiti on the side of the wall. I briefly wondered if the inside was the same and started having second thoughts about becoming a member here, but I had already paid, and I really wanted to go to a play party.

Standing at the door, I didn't know what to do next. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't open. I started to really doubt I had the right place, but the sign above said Eclipse. So, it had to be it. I knocked, hoping that maybe someone would hear it and open the door for me.

Within seconds, the door opened, and I stepped into the building, instantly greeted with two men wearing leather pants and another door.

"Name?" the one with red hair asked, who was sitting behind a desk as the other flanked his left side.

"Edward Cullen," I replied.

"Photo Identification," he demanded. I reached into my pocket and produced my driver's license for him, wondering if I was about to be frisked before I was allowed to enter, but also hoping Aro had remembered to put me on the list. The one at the desk typed away on his laptop and reached over to the printer. He made a card in a matter of minutes and handed it to me.

"Here is your card. Your membership is good for one full year at which time the card will be unusable. You will receive renewal information in the mail. Once you have satisfied the renewal portion, another card will be mailed to your address. I would suggest paying it before the membership is due. If you misplace or lose your card, please contact the numbers on this business card and let us know …" he handed me a business card with several names and numbers on them " … if you are ever asked about what happens in this club, you do not have to reply. This club is a privately owned and operated club. No one from the public is allowed at any time unless they have met with one of the board members before hand. Please keep that in mind before asking guests to accompany you.

"You can access our calendar of events on the website, which is also located on the business card. Please check the calendar because there are nights that males are not allowed in unattended. Meaning … no Mistress, no Master, no submissive...no entrance, got it?" he asked.

I nodded.

"There is no drinking what so ever on this premises. If you are caught drinking or carrying in alcohol, not only will you be removed from the club for the night, but your membership might be withdrawn. Now, last but not least … the next time you enter, you will not be knocking. Beside the door is a keycard machine. Swipe your card, and the doors will automatically unlock. Do you have any questions?"

"No," I replied, placing the business card, driver's license, and membership card into my wallet before I forgot.

"The papers you signed with Mr. Volturi had the non-disclosure at the bottom …" I nodded because I remembered signing that portion of the application for membership "… you are aware that whatever or whoever you see behind these doors, you are not allowed to talk about."

"I understand," I replied.

"Good, please turn your cell phone off at this time. Our club has a strict no cell phone policy, and you will be asked to leave the club if you are caught texting, calling, checking emails, or taking pictures. We also have a no picture policy here. If you want a picture taken, please locate one of the managers on duty. They are wearing red shirts and can be easily identified. Once they have acquired the permission of all parties involved in the picture, they will be more than happy to take a picture with any of your devices."

"Okay," I reached into my pocket and pulled out my iPhone and turned it off for the night. I wasn't about to do something to screw up the one chance I had at getting involved here.

"Good. Felix … let him in. Good luck, and Welcome to Eclipse," he said as the other male opened the door, allowing me to enter the club. I stepped through the doors and stood there looking at my surrounds.

The club red and black; red walls with black ceiling, and even the tables and chairs were red and black to match. Along one of the side walls were several St. Andrew's cross contraptions and a couple of benches. A couple of couches were in the middle of the room with people mingling all over the place. I scanned the crowd, looking for anyone I might know, but couldn't seem to find anyone. Walking over to the bar that was in the corner of the club, I slid onto a stool and ordered a Coke.

Everyone in here tonight we either dressed casual or in business attire, and I didn't get the feel that anyone was anything other than what they portrayed on the street. All people just being who they wanted, nothing out of the ordinary. Actually, I expected to find people in leather chaps with leashes and riding crops. I guess, once again, those stereotypical assumptions had caused me to see things that weren't here.

"Hi … I'm Jasper Whitlock," a man with long blonde hair said sitting beside me.

"Ed … Edward Cullen," I stuttered. I was still kind of nervous being in a place like this. Even though I wanted to know and learn every aspect of the lifestyle, there was still something daunting about this place. Damn stereotypical assumptions, I cursed under my breath.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm assuming this is your first time here?" he asked, motioning the bar keeper over.

"Yes," I replied, taking a sip of my drink.

"Don't worry; it gets easier with time, I promise. Tonight is just about getting to know people and mingling with others. Nothing major, I promise."

"Good to know," I replied thankful, but disappointed I wouldn't see more of the lifestyle tonight. There was a part of me that craved the knowledge, but another part that was still trying to convince myself it was wrong.

"Are you related to Carlisle Cullen?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, he's my uncle."

"I thought so. You guys both look a little alike. Well, except for the fact of the hair and eyes, but still similar."

"We get that a lot," I replied, still kind of nervous and not knowing what was really going on behind all these questions.

"Okay, let me set you straight because you need to lighten up if you are going to fit in here at all. Look, I'm a switch … that means that I like to play both the dominant role and the submissive. That little black headed girl over there …" he pointed toward a couple of couches that had several woman standing around talking "… she's my wife. We don't swing, and we won't be propositioning you tonight. So, you are safe with me," he said, looking right into my eyes. I felt immediately intimidated, and I didn't know why, but there was something about his voice and tone that had me ready to climb underneath my barstool. It was odd because I had never been intimidated by another man before, well, besides my father, but that was a whole other issue.

"Okay." I swallowed hard, trying to figure out a way to get the stick out of my ass. It wasn't like I wanted to be with men, and had never really given much thought to it. I loved women … wanted women, and in a club like this, I just assumed that everyone was swingers, I guess. Stupid fucking misconceptions, I thought. They were going to get me in trouble all night if I didn't find a way of ridding myself of them quickly.

"You're completely new," he mused, looking at me.

"Never done this before in my life … still fighting against my brain that all this stuff is wrong," I replied, hoping that maybe being there wasn't any threat from him, that he would help me get going in this type of situation.

"I was like that too, at one time. It's the way society portrays things. When you're younger, it's not openly discussed or even talked about. People who participate are considered to be deviants or that they have something wrong with their minds. I get it, but walk through those doors with an open mind because the possibilities are endless. When you find a submissive or dominant, which ever you're looking for, go into their play rooms with the same open mind, and you will be fine. Hell, you will learn levels of ecstasy you never knew existed before, and the relationship you build with your top or bottom … it's like no other relationship you've ever had in your entire life. That's one thing I can guarantee. Remember, there is a whole other world waiting to be explored here, and it's all ripe for the taking."

"How do I know which one I am looking for?" I asked because I thought I was looking for a Mistress, but now I didn't know.

"You have to decide with sounds more appealing for you … taking orders or receiving orders," Jasper said, smiling.

"I think I'm looking for a Mistress … I don't know if I could be with a male," I confessed.

"Aw, well you're in luck. Alice and I have been going to see Mistress Isa. She's the best here, and she even helps people learn the ropes so to speak." He chuckled.

"Mistress Isa," I repeated.

"She's standing over there with my wife. She's beautiful, but very picky about her clients. There is a minimal fee … you have to donate to one of her charities before she will consider you, and you have to match with her likes and dislikes. Or, at least be interested in similar things. It really doesn't matter if you don't know, she will teach you, but she doesn't do playing with fire or cutting. Those are her major issues."

Jasper talked about Bella and her training, and even explained why Alice and he were going to see her, even though they both have been in the lifestyle for years on end. Apparently, switching positions for the pair was a little harder to get used to, but they were making good progress. I listened as Jasper talked, but I couldn't keep my eyes off Bella, who was still standing with a group of others talking. I really didn't want to draw attention to myself. I was worried she would cause a scene and ruin my chances here, but I tried not to worry. Maybe my being here would show her how much I truly wanted to learn about her world.

"She's gorgeous, right?" Jasper asked, pulling my attention from Bella.

"Who?" I asked, playing dumb, hoping like hell he hadn't seen me looking. I wanted to be with Bella … wanted it more than anything in my entire life, but I didn't want anyone saying something to her so she would tell them what I had done when I first arrived.

"Mistress Isa … you're watching her. So, I know you think she's beautiful. Why don't we go over and introduce you? Maybe this will be your foot in the door, so to speak," he said, getting ready to leave his seat.

"No … I can't," I said, grabbing his arm before he could get off his stool.

"Why? Are you scared? She's just a woman," he said, looking at me like I was nuts for not approaching her.

"It's not like that," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"A couple of months ago when I moved into town … I made some assumptions. I accused her of somethings that I shouldn't have and pissed her off real good. I shouldn't even be admitting this to you, but I don't know …" I pulled at my hair "… I won't go into details, but I was wrong … so fucking wrong. I apologized, and if she sees me here, she might get pissed at me again."

"Wow! Um … yeah, I have nothing to say other than keep an open mind like I said," Jasper replied.

"Who is this, Jasper?" Alice said, reaching around him to look at me while speaking to her husband.

"Alice, this is Edward … Edward, this is Alice, the love of my life," he said, picking up her hand from around his waist and kissing it.

"I noticed you've been watching Isa all night … are you interested in her?" she asked right of the bat, causing me to choke on my drink. I took me a minute to get things under control and that was after Jasper hit my back a couple of times.

"Look, I can get you one of her lists to fill out, and you can give it to her or if not, I will," Alice said, batting her eyelashes at me like she was begging me to do it.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Jasper said, casting me a sideways glance.

"It's a perfect idea, Jasper. He's perfect for her, and I know she won't give him the time of day. I've already heard it," she said, narrowing her eyes at me now. Great! I think she knows Bella's version of events, and I bet it didn't cast me in a good light.

"You should stop making assumptions because you know what they say about making them … don't you?" she asked with her narrowed eyes still focused on me.

"Yeah, it makes me an ass," I replied because there was something about her look and tone that had me admitting to things, just like Jasper's tone when he first started talking to me.

"Good, you're here … you're going to have an open mind and stop fucking assuming shit you know nothing about, and you are going to fill out one of her lists," she demanded. I couldn't say no … why couldn't I say no?

Alice stood on her toes and kissed Jasper on the cheek, whispering something in his ear, and then she motioned for me to follow her. I stood from my stool, looking over at Bella before I followed Alice. When she looked at me, I felt a shiver crawl up my spine; the look was one of pure rage. I hoped Alice wasn't dragging me over to talk to her.

Reaching out, Alice grabbed my hand and led me down a hallway and into a room. She clicked a couple of switches and turned on the lights.

"Sit," she instructed, and I sat at the table located in the room. I looked around, noticing a few things about the room that I recognized from my research. There were riding crops, canes, and floggers of some kind hanging on the furthest wall from us. Closer to us was a real cross with chains and handcuffs attached. There was the table I sat at and another chair that Alice pulled out to sit in front of me.

"Okay, being you're a newbie, so to speak, and probably don't know any more than what the internet has to offer, I'm about to give you a crash course into the lifestyle. It's only going to be the basic information to help assist you in answering Bella's questions. I will not be using any of these items on you tonight, and I will try to explain everything so your answers are perfect."

"Why are you helping me? She's not going to want to help me because of what happened," I said, looking at her, wondering why a friend of Bella's would even begin to help me. I was supposed to be the enemy, right?

"We all make mistakes … you were totally wrong and misguided. I will hold that against you for a while; however, I know things. I see things … I'm like Bella, to some degree … I love to watch people and read their body language. Right now, you're nervous and unsure," she said.

I nodded because I was nervous about being back here and unsure about filling this list out, even though Alice was pushing me to do so.

"You're not the only one unsure. She won't make the first move because of the little misguided assumptions you had when you first arrived. So, this is where I have to intervene before she makes a mistake. Bella doesn't know what is good for her, and sometimes she will give up on something that could be great for her. However, it's not going to happen this time … I can see it," Alice said, pointing to her temple.

"Now, let's get started," she said, pointing to the sheet in front of me, handing me a pen.

It seemed like it took us hours to finally get through the lists. I had been properly educated on everything under the fucking sun. There were items on the list that were downright nasty and nothing I ever wanted to experience a day in my life. Nevertheless, there were items on her lists that sounded exciting, and I got a little carried away with myself when I thought about her doing things like that to me. Alice would notice the shifting I was doing in my chair and tell me to come down. I felt like a puppy being scolded, but I would try to reel in my mind and save those images for when I got home.

Alice told me that I needed to donate at least two hundred dollars to one of the charities on Bella's list. I was shocked to see a Domestic Violence Shelter as one of three charities on her list, which made me feel even worse about the things I had accused her of when we first meet. I needed to make it up to her somehow … some way because an apology just wasn't enough.

By the time we were finished with the lists, the club was almost empty. Jasper still sat at the bar, waiting his wife, I was sure, and Bella seemed to be gone as well. We walked out to our cars, and Alice handed me her number and told me to call Jasper or her if I had any questions. I thanked them both for all their help tonight and promised I would call if I needed anything.

Driving home, I felt confident that Mr. Volturi would be sending out the invitation for the play party soon, but I didn't know what it might hold for me. One thing was for sure, I wanted finding a way to get more time with Bella and learn about the lifestyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, Edward is asserting himself a little here with the help of Alice and Jasper. I love those two here, always the helpers. Okay, I apologize for the delays, but I hope to be getting another one out soon. I already have it planned in my head and in my notebook. Thank you to all that are reading and always show some love in the way of a review.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: All right we know where Bella has been and where she is now. The next chapter we will learn about her different clients, and the addition of the new green eyed client. As always, be kind and show some love. Remember, this story will be a slow updater, so be sure to tag the alert button before you go.


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